Everything Starts Again
by SilverAnemone13
Summary: It's 1928 and Jasper has left Maria to look for a better life. He's tired of controlling his natural instincts and let's himself go when he meets the mysterious Edward Masen. Jasper finds himself falling for Edward over time but can he really stay with him, knowing Edward will never love anybody but himself? Includes contest version (slashbackslash 4) full version and continuation.
1. Contest Version

**AN: This is the contest version. The next chapter is not a continuation, but the full version of the story (more info in that Author's Note).**

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**Title: **Everything Starts Again

**Author: **SilverAnemone13

**Pairing: **Edward/Jasper

**Rating: **NC-17 (MA)

**Disclaimer: **All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.

**Word Count: **9935

**Summary:** It's 1928 and Jasper has left Maria to look for a better life. He's tired of controlling his natural instincts and let's himself go when he meets the mysterious Edward Masen. Jasper finds himself falling for Edward over time but can he really stay with him, knowing Edward will never love anybody but himself?

**Please see all entries at: slashbackslash . livejournal . com**

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**August 1928.**

As Jasper ran through a dark alley, he felt cold, lonely and scared. These emotions haunted him, because he felt them, even when they were not his own. They were the emotions of a homeless man who had found a relatively safe corner in that same dark alley, or a young woman who was walking home from her presumably nightly shift as a waitress at the local bar. Jasper could smell their blood, his mouth filling with venom as he resisted the urge to give in to his instincts.

He reached the end of the alley, stopped and looked to the sky. The rain was drizzling down onto his face, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before pulling the collar of his jacket up to cover his neck. He fished his newsboy cap from his jacket pocket and pulled it down over his blond hair so it covered his crimson eyes.

Jasper walked out of the alley at a human pace and headed straight to the same local bar. As he entered, he noticed something. There seemed to be a lot more people than usual, and a good portion of them were gathered in one corner around a table. Jasper couldn't see what was going on from where he was standing. However, his curiosity was not strong enough for him to walk over there. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, and being here was already difficult for him without having to stand in the middle of a group of people.

No, he was here for one thing and one thing only. Blood.

Taking human lives was wearing on him, so he was always looking for new possibilities to avoid that. Jasper had met a guy who came from Europe, fighting in the war, and he could supply blood for Jasper without taking any lives. The blood was drawn from humans and put in bags to reserve for wounded soldiers who suffered from blood loss. They were using it in the war in Europe ten years prior, and it had finally come to America.

Jasper spotted him across the crowded room, sitting at a table for two, with his feet slung casually onto the unoccupied chair. His sleazy appearance and awful body odor disgusted Jasper and was the only reason he'd refrained from draining the man a couple of weeks back, when Jasper had first met him.

Turns out, the man did it purposefully. He was well aware of the monsters lurking out there and wanted to protect himself. He figured the more disgusting body odor, the more chance that it would overshadow the need for blood within the supernatural creatures.

Jasper approached him casually and kept his breathing to a minimal, just enough so the humans wouldn't know the difference and he wouldn't have to smell the hideous odor coming from the man.

"Walter," he greeted the man.

Walter looked up with a hard gaze and slowly removed his feet from the chair opposite him. He finally nodded at Jasper and motioned for him to sit down.

Walter was a straight to business kind of man, and that suited Jasper just fine since he really just wanted to get the hell out of there.

As Jasper sat down, he pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and slid it across the table. It was full of cash to pay for the blood.

Walter wasted no time taking the envelope and, quickly looking from side to side, kicked a box under the table to Jasper. Then he stood, took a cigarette from behind his ear, lit it and walked to the door. Right before Walter disappeared outside, he turned his head to Jasper—who was watching him—tilted his cap toward Jasper and winked.

Jasper could smell the cold blood from the box and knew he had to get it home into the freezer before it began to warm. Otherwise, it would go bad.

As he was walking to the exit with the box under his arm, he noticed the crowded table had cleared. He could now see who was sitting at the table.

Vampires.

One of the vampires especially drew his attention, with his black suit, dark grey fedora hat and alluring smile. Jasper couldn't believe how beautiful this man was.

Just as Jasper had finished his thought, the vampire looked up, and when their eyes met it was like everything else perished. Jasper felt drawn to this man, and he could tell the man felt the same way. He was curious, confident and hungry. Hungry for blood and for Jasper.

Jasper couldn't tear his eyes away, even though he felt like there was a reason he should. It had probably only been a few seconds—but it felt like longer—when the human beside the gorgeous vampire drew his attention away from Jasper by kissing him on the neck.

Jasper's eyes widened at the public display of affection. They were in a shady bar in the bad end of town. But Jasper had never seen two guys together before in public, so he was very surprised. And aroused. The human was quite handsome with slightly long, brown hair and broad shoulders. Jasper couldn't see more of him because he was still kissing the vampire on the neck.

He could not compare to the vampire though. No human could. And he had never met a vampire this beautiful either. His hair was what was most interesting to Jasper. It was an odd reddish color. Almost like a dark rosé wine.

Jasper forced himself to turn around. He was feeling all kinds of lust and was quickly slipping out of control. He had to get out of there now.

Not even taking one last glance at the redhead and the human, Jasper bolted for the exit and ended up standing in a downpour. He made sure there weren't any humans outside before he ran down the street and into the first alley he saw.

Sighing, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. _Who was that man?_ Jasper thought to himself.

"Edward Masen," a voice whispered in Jasper's ear, making him jump up and quickly get into a crouched position. The box of blood Jasper had still carried under his arm fell to the ground. When Jasper saw it was the redhead, he slowly straightened and tilted his head to the side. Now that he was seeing the redhead up close, Jasper could see his hair wasn't red; it was brown. But then Edward took a step forward—the lighting from the street lamps falling differently on his face—and the red came back into his hair.

Jasper couldn't believe the man had followed him.

Edward took a step forward. "I just could not resist," he said with a leering smile.

Jasper stood frozen. "Oh," was all he could say. Jasper realized the man had answered Jasper's thought but pushed it aside as a coincidence.

He could tell Edward wanted him, and if he was being honest, he wanted Edward too. It didn't faze him much that he was lusting after a guy. Maybe it was the fact that he was being desired by this beautiful creature, or perhaps it was because it had been so long since he had truly desired anyone.

Just as Jasper had finished the thought, Edward smirked and took two steps closer to Jasper. They were now only an arm's length apart.

"Give in to your desires," Edward lured. His voice was husky, sexual longing dripping from his words.

Jasper's mind was reeling with contradicting thoughts. He wanted Edward—he couldn't deny that. But he didn't know this man and he wasn't a fag. At least he didn't think he was. He'd never actually had a sexual experience, so how could he know he wasn't gay? This was the first time he'd actually considered being gay. Did he really want to experiment with this stranger in a dark alley?

With determination in his eyes, Edward took another small step toward Jasper so their noses were almost touching. Jasper didn't back down—he didn't want to. Maybe this was a mistake and he'd regret it later, but he had to know. If this was what he wanted, why not go for it?

With his mind made up, Jasper closed the distance between them and brushed his lips softly and very tentatively against Edward's. Returning the kiss, Edward's hands settled on Jasper's hips to pull their bodies even closer. Jasper was relieved that Edward had taken the lead, because after that first leap, he had no idea what to do.

Jasper concentrated on the feel of Edward's lips, his intoxicating scent invading Jasper's lungs and the strong grip he had on Jasper's hips. It all felt indescribably amazing to Jasper, and he found himself surrendering to Edward and this new experience.

Their moans filled the space around them as they kissed, sucked, and nibbled on each other's lips. Their bodies rocked together in sync, as their cocks grew harder and Jasper couldn't pretend to feel that this was wrong. Edward's desire was so strong; Jasper didn't even need his ability to feel it.

The feelings around him were feral and raw, pure pleasure, and Jasper just gave in to it all and let himself feel. It had been so long since he'd let his emotions run free and mix with others people's emotions because in doing so, it meant he had to let his control go. And his control was the only thing he had left. It was what kept him sane. Or so he thought. Edward was seriously beginning to prove him wrong.

Jasper didn't care that he knew nothing about Edward besides his name. He didn't care that he had only known Edward for less than an hour. He didn't care that Edward was a man. He just cared about the pleasure Edward was bringing him and the emotions he'd only felt through others. He wanted to experience lust and desire and pleasure, and he wanted to experience it firsthand. It was now finally happening.

Reaching between their bodies, Edward rubbed Jasper's hard cock, and Jasper's hips automatically pushed against Edward's hand, as he moaned into Edward's mouth.

"From the first moment," Edward started to say, then bit down gently on Jasper's earlobe, making him groan and thrust his hips harder into Edward's hand. "I just knew," he finished. Jasper knew what Edward meant because he knew it too. It was something special, something he couldn't quite explain.

Edward was teasing Jasper, rubbing his hand agonizingly slowly against Jasper's cock, and Jasper was shamelessly thrusting his hips against Edward's hand.

Before Jasper realized what was happening, Edward had quickly worked Jasper's zipper and was pulling his pants down. He gave Jasper a kiss before getting down on his knees.

Edward took Jasper's cock into his hand, and Jasper hissed at the contact. He had only ever felt the touch of his own hand, and he was already close. Edward took Jasper's cock into his mouth and took a hold of Jasper's ass.

Jasper took hold of Edward's head and let out a loud moan. He was on the edge of his orgasm when he looked down to see Edward looking right back at him. With his cock in Edward's mouth and his fingers gripping Edward's silky hair tightly, he fell over the edge and came down Edward's throat.

With Jasper's orgasm still cursing through his body, Edward quickly stood up and shoved Jasper into the nearest wall. He then ground his hard cock against Jasper's thigh and pushed his tongue into Jasper's mouth, kissing him hard and frantically.

Jasper was moaning and writhing, taking everything Edward was giving him. When they broke the kiss, Jasper looked into Edward's eyes and knew this was what he had been looking for.

Not redemption.

Not a life with control.

Certainty not a life living alone.

No, he was meant to be with Edward. Because this was who he was. And nothing could ever change that.

Edward smiled darkly and leaned in closer so their foreheads were touching.

"Oh, we are going to have a splendid time, love."

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**November 1928. **

"Where are you taking me?" Jasper asked curiously, yet again.

"You will know when we arrive," Edward answered with an eye roll. "Just try to keep up." Edward ran faster through the dark forest, and Jasper could feel the excitement coming from him.

Jasper knew he wouldn't be able to run as fast as Edward and decided to cheat a little. Before Edward could get too far out of his reach, Jasper tackled him to the ground and lay on top of him. Jasper knew Edward had seen what was coming from Jasper's thoughts, but he let Jasper tackle him anyway.

Edward wanted to play dirty.

With a quick tug on Jasper's arm, Edward was suddenly on top. Jasper saw the move coming and slipped out from Edward's grasp before he could settle himself completely on top of Jasper.

Jasper tried to get a head start and started running, but Edward was quickly on his back.

"Where do you think you're going, Love?" Edward whispered in Jasper's ear, right before he swung Jasper around and knocked him into a tree. When the thick wood collided with Jasper's marble body, it cracked in half, and Jasper fell forward on his hands and knees but quickly recovered in a standing position.

Jasper gave Edward a crooked smile.

"You really think you can beat a Major with those mind tricks?" Jasper said with the thick southern drawl he knew Edward liked.

Edward laughed and crouched down. "If I recall correctly, I would say I have won the most times."

"My winning is earned; yours is cheating, darlin'." Jasper winked before imagining himself pouncing on Edward. He knew Edward would read his mind and duck his attack. Jasper started running towards Edward and right before he was about to jump, he changed his mind and flew right at Edward. Edward had so little time to react and they both crashed to the ground with a loud thump.

As Jasper lay on top of Edward, he knew he'd won. Smirking down at the bronze-haired man, Jasper just stayed on top of Edward, holding Edward's hands above Edward's head and Edward's legs still with his knees.

"All right, Monkey. You win," Edward admitted. Jasper's boyish grin was so big, Edward couldn't help but laugh.

"Will I get a prize?" Jasper asked innocently. He released one of Edward's arms to run his hand down Edward's cheek. As they locked eyes, Jasper felt something recognizable bubbling in his chest. He'd felt this emotion a lot, but never on his own. It was always something he felt when he was near a young couple or a father holding his little daughter. He knew what it was, but he didn't believe it.

Love was not something a vampire could ever feel. It was a human emotion. And he was a monster.

Edward furrowed his brows at Jasper's expression, and Jasper quickly leaned down to capture his lips in a heated kiss. They were both worked up, and Jasper wanted to forget the absurd thought of love.

Jasper moved his lips to Edward's neck and released Edward's other arm so he could run his hands down Edward's clothed chest. Stopping at the waistline of Edward's trousers, Jasper sat up straight and settled himself on Edward's thighs, before going back to kissing Edward on the neck.

Jasper bit down particularly hard on Edward's neck. "Fuck, do that again," Edward insisted.

Instead of obeying Edward, Jasper licked and sucked the spot until Edward grew restless.

"Fucking tease," he growled before flipping them over so Jasper's legs were wrapped around Edward's thighs.

Jasper moaned loudly when Edward pressed their cocks together. The need for release was growing stronger in both of them. Jasper could feel it coming off in waves from his lover.

"It's a shame I can't take you right here, right now," Edward said, clearly irritated and aroused.

"Why not?" Jasper almost whined, which made Edward chuckle.

"Hmm, maybe…" Edward trailed off and ran his nose along Jasper's collarbone while pressing down harder on Jasper's cock. Just as Edward was about to kiss Jasper, he sat up and smirked.

"Sorry, love." Jasper growled and tried to pull Edward back down on his body, but failed.

"Now who's the tease?" Jasper mumbled in annoyance as he gave up on trying to pull Edward down.

Edward quickly kissed Jasper and then stood up gracefully. "Come on. There's something I want to show you."

Jasper got up from the ground and dusted himself off as best as he could. When he really got a good look, he realized they were both covered in leaves and dirt. Jasper groaned in frustration and started picking out branches from his hair, while Edward stood next to him and laughed.

"Shut it," Jasper mumbled, still trying to make himself presentable. However, he couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Edward's hair. It almost looked like he had antlers.

They laughed and picked leaves from each other's hair for a while before getting on their path again, running to the place Edward wanted to show Jasper.

Jasper and Edward had been together ever since the night they met. Jasper felt like he had found himself, his purpose in life, being with Edward. He was far from perfect, but when they were alone together, Edward really showed Jasper a side of himself nobody else got to witness.

Jasper admired Edward. The way Edward carried himself, his charm, his ability, but most of all, the way he could transform from teasing and charming to a complete monster. It seemed like it was nothing to him.

As they neared their destination, Jasper could see the change in Edward. His face became a mask. His eyes became hard, his lips a straight line and his posture stiff.

Jasper knew what was coming before he could even smell it.

Humans.

"Edward," Jasper said, wanting to get an answer from him. Jasper had not yet gotten used to being around humans and felt nervous. Edward usually cornered humans in alleys and Jasper liked it that way. He wasn't prepared to hunt in open spaces with lots of people.

Edward suddenly stopped short, and Jasper turned around and went back to him.

"You do not have to worry, Jasper," Edward started, moving closer to Jasper and putting his hands around Jasper's waist. "If it gets out of hand, I will be there." Edward pulled Jasper roughly against him and placed kisses on the side of Jasper's neck, up to his ear.

"Besides," Edward began, biting Jasper's earlobe. "I want to have some fun tonight."

Even though Jasper looked perfectly calm on the outside, he was quivering on the inside.

Edward took Jasper's hand and placed a kiss on the surface. "Shall we?"

Jasper looked at Edward's charming smile and felt himself falling under his spell. With Edward it was never really a choice. Jasper was drawn to Edward and especially drawn to Edward's dark side.

The monster in him told him to follow Edward, and since Jasper was nothing more than a monster, he gripped Edward's hand more tightly and smiled. "Let's go, darlin'."

Edward smiled again, but this time it was pure evil.

He was ready to kill.

And so was Jasper.

Together they walked the last kilometer, as not to reveal themselves by running, and finally came to the huge entrance of an amusement park.

Jasper had never been to an amusement park before. He didn't even think they were open in the winter.

"They have a special winter theme here and are open all year long," Edward answered Jasper's unspoken question.

Jasper looked at Edward and knew they weren't there for the attractions.

Edward returned Jasper's stare and smiled darkly. "You're right about that, love."

Edward dragged Jasper through the opening and led the way expertly, clear on his target. Jasper started to feel the burn in his throat the closer he got to the humans and began to feel uneasy.

What if I lose control? Jasper thought, dreading the prospect.

Edward stopped up again and turned to Jasper. "So what if you lose control? Nobody will notice a scream in an amusement park if you're quick enough."

Jasper furrowed his brow, his thoughts being distracted by the smell of human blood. He couldn't quite concentrate on Edward's words, so Edward took hold of Jasper's shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.

"Stop breathing for a minute and focus on me," Edward insisted. Jasper held his breath and focused his attention on Edward.

"Try to feel what I feel." Jasper was confused by this but did as Edward asked. He pushed his own feelings aside and gave in to Edward's. They were dark, lustful and completely overpowering. Jasper's lips curled into a malicious smile as his own feelings were affected by Edward's.

He was transforming into a killer.

"I think I'm ready to have some fun now too," Jasper said, before kissing Edward fiercely.

They broke apart fairly quickly because the scent of blood distracted them both, and they were ready to hunt.

Edward led the way, and soon they were standing at the entrance of the haunted house.

Jasper saw a young couple walk in and licked his lips at the thought of setting his teeth into the man's neck.

"Patience, Jasper," Edward remarked. Jasper snapped from his fantasy and noticed the back entrance to the haunted house. He sent a thought to Edward, and when he nodded at Jasper's proposal, they made their way to the door. They made sure no one saw them as they slipped inside.

Their eyes didn't need to adjust to the darkness; they could see everything perfectly.

Jasper smelled the humans immediately and started to walk in their direction, when Edward held him back.

"What do you say we make it interesting?" Edward smirked with a raised eyebrow.

And interesting they made it.

Jasper was thrilled by the experience. With humans right outside the house and this young couple in front of them, the bloodlust was overwhelming, and it was an amazing high.

Jasper drained the man and collapsed on the floor in a heap of emotions. Edward came over and sat down next to him.

As Jasper slowly fell down from the high he had been on since they entered the haunted house, he began to feel guilty. The couple had appeared very much in love and with a bright future ahead of them. Now they were dead so two vampires could quell their insane thirst.

"Don't," Edward said firmly. "This is what we do, who we are." He tilted Jasper's head upward and looked him dead in the eye. "Embrace it, live it. Humans are just that—humans. They're fragile creatures walking the Earth to satisfy our needs, just like small fish are alive to satisfy the need of bigger, stronger fish."

Jasper gulped as he mulled over Edward's words. It was the absolute truth, but it still nagged Jasper to no end.

Edward's eyes became hard when he realized his point wasn't coming across, and he kissed Jasper hard on the lips.

"You think too much, love," Edward said, with no particular endearment meant when he said "love." He never really meant it as an endearment, and Jasper was well aware of that.

He kissed down Jasper's neck while trying to convince Jasper to surrender to darkness as he so often did. _He was good at it too,_ Jasper thought to himself while he enjoyed the feel of Edward's lips on his body.

"You're satisfied, happy and empowered, Jasper. Enjoy it," Edward whispered seductively, before crashing his lips to Jasper's yet again.

Jasper moaned and gave himself completely away to the emotions he wanted to feel while ignoring the rest. He supplied himself with need from Edward's surging emotions and turned them around so he was lying on top of Edward. He kissed Edward with passion while pressing his semi hard cock into Edward's thigh.

If this is what it feels like to fully live on obscure emotions, Jasper was ready to surrender himself to the darkness, just like Edward wanted him too.

Because he would do anything to be with Edward.

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**August 1929.**

Jasper crashed Edward against the building, the sound echoing throughout the dark alley. He pressed his lips to Edward's while they ground their hips against each other in frantic movements.

"Let's just go home, darlin'," Jasper pleaded, trailing kisses down Edward's neck.

"No, I already smell it, I can't…" Edward trailed off. Jasper knew what he meant, but he didn't care about the humans—he just wanted to be with Edward.

"Please, Edward."

Jasper looked Edward straight in the eye with all the unrequited love he had for Edward. Edward turned them around and was now pressing Jasper against the building, kissing him lightly on the lips.

Jasper knew what this meant.

A goodbye kiss.

"I won't be long. Wait for me at home," Edward said softly but with an underlying coldness Jasper didn't like. He was already preparing for the hunt, his mind probably thinking up creative ways to frighten and capture his prey.

Jasper sighed because he knew he had lost the battle. He could never win against Edward's lust for blood. It was stronger than anything else.

"Hurry," Jasper whispered and kissed Edward quickly before turning and walking away. He knew Edward wouldn't stay and watch him leave—he didn't really care how his actions affected Jasper—but Jasper couldn't help but turn around to see Edward had left. He knew he was a masochist, but he didn't know how to control it. So he just let Edward hurt him time and time again.

It was late March when Jasper first came to terms with his love for Edward. He had tried to deny it, telling himself it was just lust, but Jasper couldn't deny how he felt about Edward—his charm, his voice, his softness that Jasper so rarely got to see, but when he did, he was always reminded of how much he really loved Edward.

No matter how much Edward hurt him, he would always find a way to forgive him. Edward didn't even need to ask for forgiveness—because he never apologized for anything—Jasper would just grant it to him freely.

He boiled it down to love. He loved Edward and would therefore do anything for him. And with him.

Edward liked to go on hunting trips, and even though Jasper sometimes found it hard to cope with the killing and the darkness, he went with Edward anyway. It was just what they did. They hunted, they fucked, and they were each other's companions.

And yet, somewhere along that mindless road, Jasper had fallen in love with Edward.

Jasper made it to their house a while after parting with Edward in the alley. It was dark and cold—matching Jasper's mood perfectly.

Buying the house had been just a snitch in their finances. Ever since Edward started gambling, they had more money than they knew what to do with. Jasper so desperately wanted to give it away to charity—support families of war, but never voiced his opinions aloud. He knew Edward had read it in his mind countless of times, but never said a word about it.

Sighing, Jasper made his way in the living room where he put on jazz music. He loosened his tie and pulled of his suit jacket, laying it neatly on the back of the sofa. He relaxed as he sat down on the sofa, wishing—not for the first time—that he would be able to sleep.

Hours passed and Edward had still not returned home. This was not the first time he would promise Jasper that he "wouldn't be long" and then stay out for hours, sometimes an entire night. One time he didn't come back for three days, and Jasper had missed him too much to be angry with him.

It was the basic nature of their relationship. Jasper was the giver and Edward was the taker. Just like Maria.

No, he couldn't compare Edward to Maria. Jasper thought he had loved Maria, but after falling in love with Edward he realized he had been fooling himself. Or rather, Maria had been fooling Jasper.

Now that he knew how it felt to be truly in love with someone, he wasn't willing to let it go. He knew his relationship with Edward was tearing him apart, but he just wasn't ready to let it go.

Maybe Edward would change.

It was a small hope—one that Jasper was desperately clinging onto because he couldn't fathom his life without Edward.

It didn't exist in his mind.

"Honey, I'm home!" Edward yelled from the hallway. Jasper snorted at his greeting. He used it a lot.

In the span of a second, Edward was standing in the living room behind the sofa Jasper was sitting on.

Edward put his head down besides Jasper's ear. "I missed you."

Jasper stood up before Edward could kiss him. It was always the same when Edward got home from these late nights; Edward would whisper sweet words in Jasper's ear and kiss him until he would cave in and forgive Edward. Then they would make love all day and when night fell again, Edward would insist they go out to kill.

See the pattern? Well, Jasper was sick and tired of said pattern, and he often tried to deny Edward what he wanted.

This time he was determined to pull through.

"Where were you?" Jasper spat angrily.

Edward's face became cold. "Have you suddenly become my caretaker?"

Edward never said "mother" or "father." He never even talked about his parents. Jasper hardly knew anything about Edward's past.

"I have the right to kn—"

"You have right to shit!" Edward cut Jasper off with a roar. Jasper took a step back, even though they weren't standing particularly close. When he had recovered, he stepped up to Edward so they were standing chest to chest.

"I don't have the right to know if you're with…" Jasper started with confidence, but couldn't say what he needed to say. It was in his mind though so Edward knew what he was asking.

"You really think…" Edward started, but he couldn't finish his own sentence either. Seconds passed and Jasper could see the shift in Edward. He knew he should have never asked.

"You really fucking think I would be with other men?" Edward shouted in Jasper's face, before he ran them both up against the wall.

Edward pulled Jasper's hands up above his head and pressed himself hard against Jasper.

Jasper didn't feel remorse for asking the question, or anger for the fact that Edward came home late again.

He just felt broken.

"Jasper, love, look at me," Edward cooed. Jasper could only lift his head to look into Edward's eyes. He didn't try to hide his hurt and loneliness. He let Edward—the man he loved with all his heart—see everything.

"Please, Jas, it was just a few hours. I'll try to come home to you earlier the next time." Jasper wasn't sure if it was supposed to soothe him or just make him willing to forgive Edward. Looking into Edward's eyes, Jasper would probably say the latter. It was always about getting forgiveness for Edward—never actually asking for it.

It wasn't that it made him want to forgive Edward—he knew the exact same thing would happen again next time—but he did it anyway. He always did.

"Okay," was all Jasper could say. He didn't have the will to fight Edward or the will to resist his advances.

Edward smiled in relief and satisfaction. Satisfaction because he knew he had won. It was all a game to Edward.

"You know what you mean to me, Jasper," Edward said in Jasper's ear, purposefully not using the word "love." And Jasper knew Edward didn't love him, but he still took those words and transformed them into his own kind of love.

"And you know that I love you," Jasper whispered, his hand softly touching Edward's cheek. Edward squirmed a bit under Jasper's gaze but eventually nodded and started kissing Jasper.

Edward had gotten better at accepting the words, though it was never easy for him to hear them. The first time Jasper had uttered them was in his mind, and Edward had left their house, coming home a few hours later and had rough sex with Jasper.

The first time he said the words out loud, they had a huge fight, and this time Jasper left, only to return a few hours later, regretting his decision and telling Edward he just wanted to be with him any way he could.

Even if Edward could never love him back.

"Stop thinking, love, just feel," Edward encouraged, his hands roaming freely up and down Jasper's chest while his lips occupied themselves kissing and nibbling on Jasper's jaw.

Jasper couldn't deny Edward what he wanted—what they both wanted.

He knew Edward needed this right now. While Jasper didn't like fighting or arguing with Edward, he sometimes felt it necessary, and often just wanted to discuss their problems. Edward was more of a "sweep it under the rug" kind of guy.

"Take me to bed, darlin'," Jasper whispered in Edward's ear before jumping up and wrapping his legs around Edward's waist. Talking could wait.

"With pleasure."

Edward smirked and ran them both up the stairs and into the bedroom before he put Jasper down.

He quickly tore the vest and shirt from Jasper's body, leaving the tie on. He worked the belt on Jasper's pants, pulled the zipper down and unbuttoned the top. He looked up at Jasper while he slowly slid the pants to the floor.

Edward growled when he realized Jasper had forgone underwear. Edward's hand immediately reached for Jasper's cock, and Jasper threw his head back and let out a loud moan. He was receiving two sets of sexual desires and was already hard as a rock.

Edward licked the underside of Jasper's cock, making him shudder with pleasure. "Fuck," Jasper breathed.

He took the entire length into his mouth letting it tap the back of his throat, and Jasper couldn't help the weird sound that escaped him—somewhere between a moan and a yelp.

Edward was fucking fantastic at sucking cock.

He leisurely continued to suck Jasper's cock, sometimes swirling his tongue around the head, gathering the pre-cum leaking from the tip.

"Goin' ta shoot if ya don't stop, darlin'," Jasper drawled, his accent always much thicker when he was aroused.

Edward kissed the tip one more time before standing up. "Get on the bed," he commanded while starting to take off his own clothes.

Jasper gladly complied and crawled on the bed, but before he could turn around, Edward was on top of him, pushing him down on the mattress.

"Do you know what you do to me, sticking your ass up in the air like that?" Edward growled. He accentuated his point by thrusting his cock between Jasper's ass cheeks but not yet entering.

Jasper gasped and then moaned because it felt so fucking good. Edward thrust his hips again, pre-cum making his cock slide easier.

"Feels so good," Edward groaned. His emotions were completely lost in pleasure. Jasper was close to coming, just by the little friction his cock got from rubbing against the mattress and all the lust coming from Edward.

Sex with Edward was better than any high he could imagine. Including blood. And not just because of their powers, though they certainly didn't hurt the experience.

"Edward… fuck me." Edward snapped out of his lust-induced haze and stilled his movements.

"Stay like this," he demanded, kissing Jasper's back before rushing to get the lube and a condom.

Jasper lay still in the bed, not even breathing. He wanted to touch his throbbing cock so bad, but he didn't want to come before Edward even entered him.

A few seconds later, Edward was back on top of Jasper, running his hands up and down Jasper's back. Moaning when Edward gently bit down on his shoulder, Jasper lifted his ass in a silent request.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Jasper?" The way Edward said his name made Jasper feel on fire. In a good way. Always in a good way.

"Yes… yes, please," Jasper whimpered, the sexual frustration from both of them getting to him. If the lustful emotions swirling around him weren't sated soon, he would surely explode.

"So responsive," Edward murmured.

Jasper was half aware of a condom wrapper being torn open and a slight drizzling sound of the lube. He could only focus on so many things, and right now lust was overtaking him.

Edward kissed each of Jasper's ass cheeks before he spread them wide and licked from the balls to the tight opening he would soon have his cock in. Jasper moaned and writhed on the bed, getting more and more impatient.

"Don't tease," Jasper said, trying to sound demanding but it came out more like pleading.

"Not teasing if you tend to carry through, love." Jasper groaned as Edward finally pushed a lube-slicked finger through his tight ring of muscle.

"Yes," Jasper drawled out with a moan. Edward's finger moved in and out at a slow, teasing pace that Jasper wasn't too happy with. He wanted Edward to fuck him into the mattress and finally relieve the sexual frustration bubbling inside of him.

"Hmm, your thoughts are riveting," Edward murmured in Jasper's ear as he added a second finger, making Jasper gasp.

Soon, Jasper was meeting Edward's fingers with hard thrusts of his hips, and Edward removed his fingers. Jasper whined and lifted his ass of the bed, leaving the begging to his thoughts.

Without warning, the head of Edward's cock pushed into Jasper. Jasper grunted at the pain and buried his head in the pillow.

"Oh… fuck," Edward moaned.

Jasper breathed in and reveled in the musky smell filling the room. He gripped the sheets tightly and lifted his ass to take more of Edward.

Nothing compared to being with Edward. The connection Jasper felt with Edward became so incredibly strong when they were together like this.

Jasper turned his head to kiss Edward, slowing everything down. They kissed while Edward started to move at a slow pace. Their bodies moved together to create the friction they both so desperately wanted.

Edward lifted Jasper's hips from the bed, going deeper while taking Jasper's neglected cock in his hand. He matched his stroked with the thrusts of his hips and soon they were both teetering on the edge.

Jasper didn't want it to end. He also couldn't stop the flood of sexual charge coming from Edward, mixing with his own need. They were begging him to let go and experience the high he knew was waiting for him.

"I need you to let go, Jasper," Edward mumbled, his lips still connected with Jasper's. "Now."

Jasper couldn't really come on command, but with four more strokes of his cock and a particular hard thrust of Edward's hips—hitting his magic spot—he exploded.

"Yes, oh fuck… just so…" Jasper cried out through his teeth.

Edward kept moving on top of him, still looking for release, and the emotions coming from him were keeping Jasper on his high.

Edward came after two more thrusts, shouting out in pleasure.

They both slowly came down from ecstasy, and Edward released Jasper's hips before rolling over to the other side of the bed. Jasper followed and curled up in Edward's arms.

This was also one of those moments he wished he could just fall asleep, tucked in at Edward's side.

Edward turned his body slightly, slung an arm over Jasper's waist and cradled Jasper against him. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just feeling each other. It was a rare moment between them and usually only happened when Edward came home late and they had sex. Cuddling out of guilt.

Edward finally got up, put on his pants and made his way downstairs. Jasper couldn't help but wish things were different. He loved Edward with all his heart, but being with him was a lot of work. Constant emotional turmoil was slowly wearing on Jasper. He knew it wasn't good for him, but he didn't have the strength—or will—to leave Edward. It simply wasn't an option.

With a sigh, Jasper crawled to the edge of the bed and sat up. He felt so utterly emotionless—an ironic contrast to what he had felt only minutes before. He felt like he couldn't even fight it anymore. Fight what, he didn't know. Maybe it was the fighting with Edward. Maybe it was the bloodlust. Maybe it was the thought of leaving Edward.

He didn't really know. He just knew that things had to be better than this. Right? Or was this all there was to a vampire life? First misery and despair with Maria, and then more despair but less misery with Edward. Could that really be it? Did being a vampire mean you were condemned like this?

Edward seemed to think so, and he wasn't shy about sharing his opinion on the topic with Jasper either.

"Do you want a glass?" Edward asked from downstairs. Jasper cleared his thoughts and focused on blood. Did he want some? No, not really.

"All right, more for me then," Edward responded to Jasper's thoughts.

Jasper growled. He had started to hate the fact that Edward could always read his mind. He had gotten better at hiding his thoughts, thinking about being happy when he wasn't. Thinking about having fun when he was bored or sometimes disgusted with what they were doing.

Maybe he had actually gotten so good at convincing himself that he had a good life, he had started to believe it himself.

Jasper snorted and got up from the bed. He did have a good life—a great life. He wouldn't trade his time with Edward for anything. And it was a hell of a lot better than being Maria's puppet.

He ran downstairs and found Edward skimming the bookcase with a glass of red liquid in hand. He didn't turn around to look at Jasper.

"Tell me you're up for round two," Jasper whispered huskily in Edward's ear, placing his hands on Edward's waist.

He got Edward's attention at this. "Oh, I'm always up for round two, love," he replied, while turning around in Jasper's arms.

Their eyes connected briefly, before their lips collided.

* * *

**May 1930.**

This was it.

He was finally leaving. Leaving his life behind. Leaving Edward behind.

It had been far from easy. Seeing Edward torn apart like that, feeling his emotions had been hard for Jasper. He almost decided not to go. But he had to. He was determined this time.

Jasper's control had improved immensely. He had started getting blood from Walter again—leaving Edward to hunt alone—and had kept it rationed, only drinking when he, in fact, needed to feed.

He had also learned to control his feelings for Edward. He had learned to say no.

With Edward not controlling him anymore, he felt freer. And he realized he needed to leave.

As he drove out of the city, he thought of nothing but Edward. He didn't want to think about anything but Edward. He remembered Edward's reaction when he told him he was leaving. It had not been pleasant at first, but Jasper hadn't expected anything else.

"_What the fuck do you mean, 'you're leaving'?" Edward asked. Edward's mood was not what Jasper had hoped for when telling Edward the news. Although, it was what he had expected. _

"_I have to, Edward. This life—living with you—is killing me." Edward snorted before Jasper even finished the sentence, which made Jasper angry. _

"_It's killing you? You're already fucking dead! And what did you expect anyway? Roses and candles every night?" Edward spat. Jasper held his composure even though he just wanted to yell at Edward. He usually did when Edward said bullshit like this. Not this time, however. It was their last time together, and he really didn't want to spend it fighting. _

"_Just stop. I don't want to fight," Jasper said as calmly as he could. _

"_Oh, you don't want to fight? Well, maybe you should stop talking about leaving me then!" _

_Jasper took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Why couldn't his ability be able to work on himself?_

"_It's not just talk. I really am leaving." Jasper looked Edward in the eyes and waited for a response. Or waited for more yelling. _

_Edward's face was hard to read, but Jasper could see realization dawning on Edward. It was hard to miss. The thing he couldn't read was if it made Edward angry or sad. It wouldn't exactly surprise him if it was the former. _

_Minutes went by in silence until Edward spoke up. "So, what… you're really… leaving?"_

_Jasper looked at the bag he held in his hand and back up at Edward. He didn't have to say anything this time. Edward didn't really mean it as a question anyway. _

"_But… how long will you be gone?" Edward asked quietly, his eyes focused on his shoes. He didn't seem sad or angry. Just… emotionless. _

"_I-I'm not coming back." Jasper was almost afraid to speak the words. And with good reason._

_Edward's head shot back up and his eyes locked with Jasper's. There was an odd fury in them that Jasper had never seen before. It was a combination of anger—mostly anger—and passion. It was the passion Jasper had never really seen in Edward before. Not like this._

"_What?" Edward's tone was full of controlled anger. Jasper wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. Edward's hands were balled into fists, and his eyes were blazing with rage. _

"_You're not fucking coming back?" he yelled. Jasper flinched and took a step back. Why did he have a feeling that this was how they were going to part ways? Edward being mad at Jasper to conceal hurt and unhappiness. Jasper couldn't decipher why Edward would do this. He knew Jasper would be able to read his emotions. _

"_I… don't," Jasper started but stopped when he realized he didn't actually know what to say. What could he say? The last twenty-two months have been hell and I now finally found the courage to leave you. No, that wouldn't go over well. _

"_Oh, it's been hell? Do you think living with you has been easy? Needy and boring," Edward spat. Jasper didn't know if he was supposed to be furious or start crying. He felt utterly torn. _

"_Why are you doing this?" Edward said before Jasper could even think about what to respond. His voice and posture were the complete opposite now. His hands weren't balled into fists, but curled around his waist. His eyes weren't filled with uncontrolled fury, but rather vulnerability and hurt. His voice wasn't loud and demanding, but quiet. A quiet that startled Jasper. It wasn't like Edward to show these kinds of emotions to others. Not even Jasper. _

"_I have—I need to do this," Jasper whispered. He wanted to choose his words carefully, as to not anger Edward again. He didn't normally do that but he didn't want Edward to be angry right now, because maybe, just maybe they could have the kind of goodbye Jasper longed for. _

"_I don't—you've—I," Edward stuttered and lowered his eyes to the ground. He wanted to talk to Jasper. Figure things out. Get answers. But his brain wouldn't cooperate with him. _

_Jasper stepped closer to Edward, but was still a little wary. Even though he had hoped this would be Edward's reaction—so they could say a proper goodbye—he didn't actually know what to say or do when he saw this vulnerable side of Edward. _

"_I love you, darlin'. But I deserve better." Jasper decided to go with honesty. He hoped Edward would reciprocate. _

_Edward looked up with the same look in his eyes from before. "Maybe… maybe you're right," he said slowly and diverted his eyes again by turning his head to the side. His hands ran up and down his arms, like a human would do if he was cold. _

_Edward had never actually agreed on much with Jasper. Only certain things—mostly sexual—but never something like this. What was next—was he going to apologize?_

_At this remark, Edward's head snapped up, and anger was back. He was about to say something, when his expression changed again. Something seemed to click in his mind. _

"_Look, I'm sorry, Edward," Jasper apologized before Edward could say anything. He really didn't want Edward to get angry again. _

"_I won't. I promise," Edward said absentmindedly. Jasper wished he knew what Edward was thinking. He often did, but this seemed important. _

_Edward snapped to attention again and stood in front of Jasper in a flash. "Don't go," he pleaded. _

_He took Jasper's hands, intertwining their fingers, and brought their bodies close. "Don't go," he repeated. _

_Jasper wanted to say something—anything—but he didn't know what. His mind was made up, and nothing Edward could say would change his mind, but it still hurt. To hear him pleading. He hadn't expected it. _

_Edward let go of Jasper's hands and brought his own hands to Jasper's hips, pulling them even closer. _

"_Don't leave me," he tried again. He rested his forehead against Jasper's and closed his eyes. "Please don't leave me."_

_Jasper was tearlessly crying. He couldn't handle seeing Edward like this. It was too much for him. He felt his resolve crumble. Could he really leave him?_

_Minutes went by and they said nothing. Just held each other close._

_Finally, Jasper pulled his forehead away from Edward's and cupped his cheek. He leaned in and captured Edward's lips in a soft kiss. Edward didn't try to deepen it, and for that Jasper was grateful. Not because he didn't want Edward, but because he needed to leave soon and he had already said goodbye when they had made love last night. Of course, Edward didn't know Jasper was leaving then, so it had been more for Jasper's sake. _

"_Goodbye, Edward," Jasper said softly. _

Jasper drove off the road, parking at the curb. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and tried to push thoughts of Edward out of his head. He might only want to think about Edward right now, but it wasn't doing him any good. He needed to get out of town and forget about Edward.

He heard a car approaching in the distance and looked up. The sun had come out from behind dark clouds. It somehow gave him hope. If the sun could emerge from thick, dark clouds, Jasper would be able to pull through this too.

Jasper got out of the car and went to the trunk. He didn't want to drive anymore, he wanted to run. He just needed something important. Getting the small bag out that he had packed in a hurry before leaving, he opened it and rummaged through it.

"Please be here, please be here," he chanted. He wasn't even sure he had remembered to pack it.

"Thank God," he breathed, when he finally pulled it out of the bag.

It was a fedora hat. Well, not just a fedora hat, it was the fedora hat Edward had worn the night they met. Even though he was leaving, he wanted a piece with him that reminded him why he had stayed in the first place. He had known—even then without realizing it—that Edward was the one. When he looked up and locked eyes with Jasper that was it.

Jasper wanted to remember that.

He straightened it out as best as he could, but it was still slightly dented. He would have to fix that later.

He put the hat back in the small bag and put it over his shoulder. He breathed in and smelled no humans.

And then he ran.

* * *

**Jasper's POV.**

**May 1950.**

Twenty years.

It's been twenty years since I last saw his face, held him in my arms and heard his confident voice. Though, the last time I saw him, it had not been so confident.

But that's not how I remember Edward. It's not how I want to remember Edward.

He was such an important part of my life. It was not even close to being easy, leaving him. But I had to. In my heart I knew I was doing the right thing for myself.

I think about him a lot. What he's doing with his life, if he's with someone else—though, I probably know the answer to that question—and if he ever thinks about me. That's the hardest to think about. It's even harder to imagine that he has forgotten me.

I brush my thoughts about Edward aside because it's all I've really been thinking about today. I thought about telling Alice, but she's prepared for this for so long and I don't want to ruin it for her. Not that I think she would be mad at me. No, she would probably apologize profusely and blame herself for not asking me what I honestly thought about moving. That's just the kind of wonderful person she is, and I love her for that. So—I didn't tell her.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks me quietly, as if I will be mad at her for interrupting my thoughts.

I chuckle lightly. After two years, she still doesn't really know how to act around me. I guess the same goes for me sometimes. We have a great relationship though, and I love her with all my heart. It was difficult at first—adapting to the company of another person. Being with Alice is in no way the same as being with Edward. Living with a lover is so different from living with your best friend.

But we made it work, and I've never been happier with my life than I am today.

"Nothing much. You know me," I reply with a sly grin. Just by laughing, Alice brings my mood from bottom to top. She's the sunshine in my life.

"Yes, Jas, I know you, and I also know we will be arriving in ten minutes. Maybe you could stop with the daydreaming and start with the pep talk," she says nervously. Even though it was her vision and her idea, I still have to be the one to convince her we're making the right choice.

"We've already made the choice, honey. What could go wrong?" I question, hoping it will work.

She glances at me for a brief moment before turning her eyes back on the road. I thought I saw a look of guilt for a second, but that can't be true. What would she have to be guilty about?

"You're right. The choice is final and the outcome is great, but there are still different scenarios depending on what choice they make. I mean, it's not just—"

"Alice!" I cut her off because her voice was becoming a little panicked. If she gets like this, it's best to just shut her up. She never seems to overthink things in her head. But when she voices them aloud, it becomes jumbled and messy, and she just can't deal with it anymore.

After a few seconds of thinking, she turns to look at me real quick again. "Sorry."

"Nothin' to be sorry about, Honey. Just relax and think about your visions. The Cullens seem like nice people from what you've told me," I soothe. I work her emotions a tiny bit so she'll be more relaxed. I promised her I would never tamper would her emotions. But if I only to it a little now and then, she never notices, and it's always in her best interest.

"They are. You're right—again. Just relax, Alice." She says the last part quietly to herself. I squeeze her hand in reassurance as we drive on a gravel road through a forest that's thick with green trees, perfectly aligned with each other. The sun is high in the sky and shining through the green leaves, making them glister with thousands of sparkles.

It's absolutely magnificent to watch.

At the end of the road, there's a huge meadow surrounded by trees, and right in the middle lays a cozy yet large house.

We park the car and decide not to bring our belongings, just opting for greeting the family of vampires first. We're both really excited about meeting them, but I'm still a little wary. I trust Alice and her visions, so I just follow along wherever she goes. It's brought me so much joy so far, so I'm naturally optimistic.

I take in a deep breath and freeze mid-step. My foot slowly lowers to the ground as I try not to freak out.

Did Alice know about this? Is it really what I think it is, or is my imagination playing a cruel trick on me?

With all these thoughts racing through my head and the scent invading my nostrils, I hadn't focused on the house. Four vampires are standing in front of it, looking curious and guarded. Two men and two women. I can tell it's two couples by the way the men both stand protectively in front of their mates and by their emotions.

Finally, one of the men—the oldest from the looks of it—steps forward with a smile on his face.

"Hello," he greets with his attention to Alice, who is standing much closer to them than I am. I still can't will my body to move. All I can think about is that scent.

"Hi! My name's Alice." She returns the greeting with a grin. This eases the four of them a little.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance. May I ask what you're doing on our property?" Carlisle asked in a non-threatening way.

"Well, we—that's me and my friend Jasper over—" A sound of breaking glass was heard from inside the house along with a muffled "fuck," cutting Alice off.

I ran toward the house, determined to see for myself. The scent, the voice—it could only be one person.

The four vampires stop me before I can reach the door. We all growl at each other as I try to find a way past them. I have to know.

"Let me through, goddammit!" I demand.

They don't get a chance to respond; the large double doors are suddenly swinging open to reveal what I knew all along.

He steps outside in the glistening sunlight and walks past the other four vampires before finally standing in front of me. When I lock my eyes with his, time seems to stop, and it's just like the first time.

His golden yet still familiar eyes are staring into my own, and I think my skin is on fire, but I wouldn't know. I only have focus on one thing. One man.

"Jasper," he whispers, like he needs to say my name to make it real.

Apparently I do too. "Edward."


	2. Full Version (Not A Sequel)

**AN: So this is the longer version (3k words longer), not a sequel. It has some outtakes in it, fx. what happened in the haunted house. Those parts are not beta'ed, so any faults there may be are my own. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**May 1950.**

For the first time, Jasper actually feels like his life might turn out alright. But it wasn't always like that. Ever since he was turned, his life has been a fight and just when he was starting to get it on the right track, Jasper met _him._

From the very moment Jasper laid first laid eyes on_ him_, _he_ captured him. Jasper didn't want to give in, but it wasn't his choice.

All he could do was fall under _his _spell and hope for the best. But you know what they say about hope. It's an illusion. A beautiful illusion that can lead to despair and misery.

Which is exactly what it did for Jasper. Until he met Alice. But this story is not about how Jasper met Alice.

No, this is the story of how Jasper met the love of his life and his worst nightmare, Edward Masen.

* * *

**August 1928. **

As Jasper ran through a dark alley, he felt cold, lonely and scared. These emotions haunted him, because he felt them, even when they were not his own. They were the emotions of a homeless man who had found a relatively safe corner in that same dark alley, or a young woman who was walking home from her presumably nightly shift as a waitress at the local bar. Jasper could smell their blood, his mouth filling with venom as he resisted the urge to give in to his instincts.

He reached the end of the alley, stopped and looked to the sky. The rain was drizzling down onto his face, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before pulling the collar of his jacket up to cover his neck. He fished his newsboy cap from his jacket pocket and pulled it down over his blond hair so it covered his crimson eyes.

Jasper walked out of the alley at a human pace and headed straight to the same local bar. As he entered, he noticed something. There seemed to be a lot more people than usual, and a good portion of them were gathered in one corner around a table. Jasper couldn't see what was going on from where he was standing. However, his curiosity was not strong enough for him to walk over there. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, and being here was already difficult for him without having to stand in the middle of a group of people.

No, he was here for one thing and one thing only. Blood.

Taking human lives was wearing on him, so he was always looking for new possibilities to avoid that. Jasper had met a guy who came from Europe, fighting in the war, and he could supply blood for Jasper without taking any lives. The blood was drawn from humans and put in bags to reserve for wounded soldiers who suffered from blood loss. They were using it in the war in Europe ten years prior, and it had finally come to America.

Jasper spotted him across the crowded room, sitting at a table for two, with his feet slung casually onto the unoccupied chair. His sleazy appearance and awful body odor disgusted Jasper and was the only reason he'd refrained from draining the man a couple of weeks back, when Jasper had first met him.

Turns out, the man did it purposefully. He was well aware of the monsters lurking out there and wanted to protect himself. He figured the more disgusting body odor, the more chance that it would overshadow the need for blood within the supernatural creatures.

Jasper approached him casually and kept his breathing to a minimal, just enough so the humans wouldn't know the difference and he wouldn't have to smell the hideous odor coming from the man.

"Walter," he greeted the man.

Walter looked up with a hard gaze and slowly removed his feet from the chair opposite him. He finally nodded at Jasper and motioned for him to sit down.

Walter was a straight to business kind of man, and that suited Jasper just fine since he really just wanted to get the hell out of there.

As Jasper sat down, he pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and slid it across the table. It was full of cash to pay for the blood.

Walter wasted no time taking the envelope and, quickly looking from side to side, kicked a box under the table to Jasper. Then he stood, took a cigarette from behind his ear, lit it and walked to the door. Right before Walter disappeared outside, he turned his head to Jasper—who was watching him—tilted his cap toward Jasper and winked.

Jasper could smell the cold blood from the box and knew he had to get it home into the freezer before it began to warm. Otherwise, it would go bad.

As he was walking to the exit with the box under his arm, he noticed the crowded table had cleared. He could now see who was sitting at the table.

Vampires.

One of the vampires especially drew his attention, with his black suit, dark grey fedora hat and alluring smile. Jasper couldn't believe how beautiful this man was.

Just as Jasper had finished his thought, the vampire looked up, and when their eyes met it was like everything else perished. Jasper felt drawn to this man, and he could tell the man felt the same way. He was curious, confident and hungry. Hungry for blood and for Jasper.

Jasper couldn't tear his eyes away, even though he felt like there was a reason he should. It had probably only been a few seconds—but it felt like longer—when the human beside the gorgeous vampire drew his attention away from Jasper by kissing him on the neck.

Jasper's eyes widened at the public display of affection. They were in a shady bar in the bad end of town. But Jasper had never seen two guys together before in public, so he was very surprised. And aroused. The human was quite handsome with slightly long, brown hair and broad shoulders. Jasper couldn't see more of him because he was still kissing the vampire on the neck.

He could not compare to the vampire though. No human could. And he had never met a vampire this beautiful either. His hair was what was most interesting to Jasper. It was an odd reddish color. Almost like a dark rosé wine.

Jasper forced himself to turn around. He was feeling all kinds of lust and was quickly slipping out of control. He had to get out of there now.

Not even taking one last glance at the redhead and the human, Jasper bolted for the exit and ended up standing in a downpour. He made sure there weren't any humans outside before he ran down the street and into the first alley he saw.

Sighing, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. _Who was that man?_ Jasper thought to himself.

"Edward Masen," a voice whispered in Jasper's ear, making him jump up and quickly get into a crouched position. The box of blood Jasper had still carried under his arm fell to the ground. When Jasper saw it was the redhead, he slowly straightened and tilted his head to the side. Now that he was seeing the redhead up close, Jasper could see his hair wasn't red; it was brown. But then Edward took a step forward—the lighting from the street lamps falling differently on his face—and the red came back into his hair.

Jasper couldn't believe the man had followed him.

Edward took a step forward. "I just could not resist," he said with a leering smile.

Jasper stood frozen. "Oh," was all he could say. Jasper realized the man had answered Jasper's thought but pushed it aside as a coincidence.

He could tell Edward wanted him, and if he was being honest, he wanted Edward too. It didn't faze him much that he was lusting after a guy. Maybe it was the fact that he was being desired by this beautiful creature, or perhaps it was because it had been so long since he had truly desired anyone.

Just as Jasper had finished the thought, Edward smirked and took two steps closer to Jasper. They were now only an arm's length apart.

"Give in to your desires," Edward lured. His voice was husky, sexual longing dripping from his words.

Jasper's mind was reeling with contradicting thoughts. He wanted Edward—he couldn't deny that. But he didn't know this man and he wasn't a fag. At least he didn't think he was. He'd never actually had a sexual experience, so how could he know he wasn't gay? This was the first time he'd actually considered being gay. Did he really want to experiment with this stranger in a dark alley?

With determination in his eyes, Edward took another small step toward Jasper so their noses were almost touching. Jasper didn't back down—he didn't want to. Maybe this was a mistake and he'd regret it later, but he had to know. If this was what he wanted, why not go for it?

With his mind made up, Jasper closed the distance between them and brushed his lips softly and very tentatively against Edward's. Returning the kiss, Edward's hands settled on Jasper's hips to pull their bodies even closer. Jasper was relieved that Edward had taken the lead, because after that first leap, he had no idea what to do.

Jasper concentrated on the feel of Edward's lips, his intoxicating scent invading Jasper's lungs and the strong grip he had on Jasper's hips. It all felt indescribably amazing to Jasper, and he found himself surrendering to Edward and this new experience.

Their moans filled the space around them as they kissed, sucked, and nibbled on each other's lips. Their bodies rocked together in sync, as their cocks grew harder and Jasper couldn't pretend to feel that this was wrong. Edward's desire was so strong; Jasper didn't even need his ability to feel it.

The feelings around him were feral and raw, pure pleasure, and Jasper just gave in to it all and let himself feel. It had been so long since he'd let his emotions run free and mix with others people's emotions because in doing so, it meant he had to let his control go. And his control was the only thing he had left. It was what kept him sane. Or so he thought. Edward was seriously beginning to prove him wrong.

Jasper didn't care that he knew nothing about Edward besides his name. He didn't care that he had only known Edward for less than an hour. He didn't care that Edward was a man. He just cared about the pleasure Edward was bringing him and the emotions he'd only felt through others. He wanted to experience lust and desire and pleasure, and he wanted to experience it firsthand. It was now finally happening.

Reaching between their bodies, Edward rubbed Jasper's hard cock, and Jasper's hips automatically pushed against Edward's hand, as he moaned into Edward's mouth.

"From the first moment," Edward started to say, then bit down gently on Jasper's earlobe, making him groan and thrust his hips harder into Edward's hand. "I just knew," he finished. Jasper knew what Edward meant because he knew it too. It was something special, something he couldn't quite explain.

Edward was teasing Jasper, rubbing his hand agonizingly slowly against Jasper's cock and Jasper was shamelessly thrusting his hips against Edward's hand, when he smelled it.

A human.

And a pretty fucking delicious smelling human too.

Jasper stopped kissing Edward and thrusting his hips into Edward's hand. He couldn't help it; he inhaled sharply, and with the sweet smell of blood, venom flooded into his mouth. Jasper noticed Edward had smelled it too, when he smirked and ran his tongue out to wet his lips. He could smell the venom coming from Edward's mouth and crashed his lips to Edward's. The bittersweet fluid filled his mouth and they both groaned at the taste of each other.

Edward then broke the kiss and gave Jasper that leering smile again before disappearing in the direction of where the blood was coming from. Jasper's mind was reeling with thoughts of Edward's touches and kisses, and he could still taste the delicious venom in his mouth.

He barely registered the nearing heartbeat before Edward was standing in front of him, a human woman—with a terrified expression on her face—in his arms, his hand covering her mouth. Jasper's senses and emotions were overwhelmed with bloodlust and fear. He took a step back, while his mouth flooded with more venom.

"Why drink it cold, when you can have it hot and straight from the source?" Edward nodded toward the box Jasper's had gotten from Walter. Jasper could vaguely smell the blood, but it was nothing compared to the smell of fresh blood coming from the woman in front of him.

Edward was smiling like a brother who was about to get his sibling into trouble.

"Hmm, she smells positively delicious, does she not?" Edward lured, as he ran his nose up and down the woman's throat, inhaling her scent. Jasper ignored his question as he tried to block out the fear and panic he felt from the woman, but it was only getting stronger.

The woman shifted and kicked her legs, trying to get out of Edward's grasp, but to no avail. Edward's arms were like iron bars and there was no way she was getting away unless Edward willingly released her. And judging by the look on his face, she didn't stand a chance.

She was going to become his next meal.

Jasper fought to maintain his control, but it was difficult since he had completely let it go before. Preserving control was hard, but letting it go and trying to force it back, was nearly impossible, and when Edward broke the woman's skin with his nail, Jasper smelled the blood and lost it. He lunged forward and sunk his teeth into the woman's neck like it was butter.

Jasper took hold of her arm, as he sucked the life out of her. The blood flowed down his throat and eased the burn he had felt when he first smelled the blood. He barely noticed Edward sinking his teeth into the other side of the woman's neck, or her ear shattering scream. Edward had released her mouth and she was now trapped between the two vampires, quickly being drained of her blood.

A few seconds had passed when Edward stopped and licked the wound he had caused. Jasper watched from the corner of his eyes, while he kept on drinking. He was enthralled by Edward. His beauty, his ability to stop at will and the darkness that lay over him. It was that darkness which Jasper had tried to escape, but now released there was no way to avoid.

He was a vampire.

A monster.

A killer.

And when Jasper finally allowed himself to get lost in that reality, he was empowered by the feelings of control and superiority. The woman's fear drove him wild, and he began feeding on it instead of rejecting it.

Jasper grabbed the woman's arm and pressed too hard, making her bones break. Her screams got impossibly louder and Jasper moaned into her throat, his teeth still deeply invested and blood flowing into his open mouth.

Edward finished licking the wound and just watched Jasper lose himself with a sickly sweet smile on his face. Jasper knew Edward was enjoying this. He was reveling in it even.

"Yes, that's it. Feel the warm blood flowing down your throat?" Edward asked. Jasper moaned and sucked harder.

"Fuck, so hot," Edward groaned and reached down just adjust his throbbing cock.

Jasper was about ready to explode from all the mind blowing sensations cursing through his body. Edward got a glint in his eyes, rushed to Jasper's side and got down on his knees.

Before Jasper realized what was happening, Edward had quickly worked Jasper's zipper and was pulling his pants down. He gave Jasper a kiss before getting down on his knees. Jasper changed his angle a bit so he would be able to give Edward plenty of space, hold the woman in his arms and still be able to suck the blood out of her. She was growing weak in his arms and her screams had died down to a whimper.

Edward took Jasper's cock into his hand and Jasper hissed at the contact. He had only ever felt the touch of his own hand, and he was already close. Between the kisses with Edward, the blood swirling in his mouth and the overwhelming feeling of power over the woman, it would surely only take two strokes.

Just as the woman fell limp in Jasper's arms, Edward took Jasper's cock into his mouth and took a hold of Jasper's ass.

Throwing the woman's lifeless body carelessly to the side, Jasper took hold of Edward's head and let out a loud moan. He was on the edge of his orgasm when he looked down to see Edward looking right back at him. With his cock in Edward's mouth and his fingers gripping Edward's silky hair tightly, he fell over the edge and came down Edward's throat.

With Jasper's orgasm still cursing through his body, Edward quickly stood up and shoved Jasper into the nearest wall. He then ground his hard cock against Jasper's thigh and pushed his tongue into Jasper's mouth, kissing him hard and frantically.

Jasper was moaning and writhing, taking everything Edward was giving him. When they broke the kiss, Jasper looked into Edward's eyes and knew this was what he had been looking for.

Not redemption.

Not a life with control.

Certainty not a life living alone.

No, he was meant to be with Edward. Because this was who he was. And nothing could ever change that.

Edward smiled darkly and leaned in closer so their foreheads were touching.

"Oh, we are going to have a splendid time, love."

* * *

**November 1928. **

"Where are you taking me?" Jasper asked curiously, yet again.

"You will know when we arrive," Edward answered with an eye roll. "Just try to keep up." Edward ran faster through the dark forest, and Jasper could feel the excitement coming from him.

Jasper knew he wouldn't be able to run as fast as Edward and decided to cheat a little. Before Edward could get too far out of his reach, Jasper tackled him to the ground and lay on top of him. Jasper knew Edward had seen what was coming from Jasper's thoughts, but he let Jasper tackle him anyway.

Edward wanted to play dirty.

With a quick tug on Jasper's arm, Edward was suddenly on top. Jasper saw the move coming and slipped out from Edward's grasp before he could settle himself completely on top of Jasper.

Jasper tried to get a head start and started running, but Edward was quickly on his back.

"Where do you think you're going, Love?" Edward whispered in Jasper's ear, right before he swung Jasper around and knocked him into a tree. When the thick wood collided with Jasper's marble body, it cracked in half, and Jasper fell forward on his hands and knees but quickly recovered in a standing position.

Jasper gave Edward a crooked smile.

"You really think you can beat a Major with those mind tricks?" Jasper said with the thick southern drawl he knew Edward liked.

Edward laughed and crouched down. "If I recall correctly, I would say I have won the most times."

"My winning is earned; yours is cheating, darlin'." Jasper winked before imagining himself pouncing on Edward. He knew Edward would read his mind and duck his attack. Jasper started running towards Edward and right before he was about to jump, he changed his mind and flew right at Edward. Edward had so little time to react and they both crashed to the ground with a loud thump.

As Jasper lay on top of Edward, he knew he'd won. Smirking down at the bronze-haired man, Jasper just stayed on top of Edward, holding Edward's hands above Edward's head and Edward's legs still with his knees.

"All right, Monkey. You win," Edward admitted. Jasper's boyish grin was so big, Edward couldn't help but laugh.

"Will I get a prize?" Jasper asked innocently. He released one of Edward's arms to run his hand down Edward's cheek. As they locked eyes, Jasper felt something recognizable bubbling in his chest. He'd felt this emotion a lot, but never on his own. It was always something he felt when he was near a young couple or a father holding his little daughter. He knew what it was, but he didn't believe it.

Love was not something a vampire could ever feel. It was a human emotion. And he was a monster.

Edward furrowed his brows at Jasper's expression, and Jasper quickly leaned down to capture his lips in a heated kiss. They were both worked up, and Jasper wanted to forget the absurd thought of love.

Jasper moved his lips to Edward's neck and released Edward's other arm so he could run his hands down Edward's clothed chest. Stopping at the waistline of Edward's trousers, Jasper sat up straight and settled himself on Edward's thighs, before going back to kissing Edward on the neck.

Jasper bit down particularly hard on Edward's neck. "Fuck, do that again," Edward insisted.

Instead of obeying Edward, Jasper licked and sucked the spot until Edward grew restless.

"Fucking tease," he growled before flipping them over so Jasper's legs were wrapped around Edward's thighs.

Jasper moaned loudly when Edward pressed their cocks together. The need for release was growing stronger in both of them. Jasper could feel it coming off in waves from his lover.

"It's a shame I can't take you right here, right now," Edward said, clearly irritated and aroused.

"Why not?" Jasper almost whined, which made Edward chuckle.

"Hmm, maybe…" Edward trailed off and ran his nose along Jasper's collarbone while pressing down harder on Jasper's cock. Just as Edward was about to kiss Jasper, he sat up and smirked.

"Sorry, love." Jasper growled and tried to pull Edward back down on his body, but failed.

"Now who's the tease?" Jasper mumbled in annoyance as he gave up on trying to pull Edward down.

Edward quickly kissed Jasper and then stood up gracefully. "Come on. There's something I want to show you."

Jasper got up from the ground and dusted himself off as best as he could. When he really got a good look, he realized they were both covered in leaves and dirt. Jasper groaned in frustration and started picking out branches from his hair, while Edward stood next to him and laughed.

"Shut it," Jasper mumbled, still trying to make himself presentable. However, he couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Edward's hair. It almost looked like he had antlers.

They laughed and picked leaves from each other's hair for a while before getting on their path again, running to the place Edward wanted to show Jasper.

Jasper and Edward had been together ever since the night they met. Jasper felt like he had found himself, his purpose in life, being with Edward. He was far from perfect, but when they were alone together, Edward really showed Jasper a side of himself nobody else got to witness.

Jasper admired Edward. The way Edward carried himself, his charm, his ability, but most of all, the way he could transform from teasing and charming to a complete monster. It seemed like it was nothing to him.

As they neared their destination, Jasper could see the change in Edward. His face became a mask. His eyes became hard, his lips a straight line and his posture stiff.

Jasper knew what was coming before he could even smell it.

Humans.

"Edward," Jasper said, wanting to get an answer from him. Jasper had not yet gotten used to being around humans and felt nervous. Edward usually cornered humans in alleys and Jasper liked it that way. He wasn't prepared to hunt in open spaces with lots of people.

Edward suddenly stopped short, and Jasper turned around and went back to him.

"You do not have to worry, Jasper," Edward started, moving closer to Jasper and putting his hands around Jasper's waist. "If it gets out of hand, I will be there." Edward pulled Jasper roughly against him and placed kisses on the side of Jasper's neck, up to his ear.

"Besides," Edward began, biting Jasper's earlobe. "I want to have some fun tonight."

Even though Jasper looked perfectly calm on the outside, he was quivering on the inside.

Edward took Jasper's hand and placed a kiss on the surface. "Shall we?"

Jasper looked at Edward's charming smile and felt himself falling under his spell. With Edward it was never really a choice. Jasper was drawn to Edward and especially drawn to Edward's dark side.

The monster in him told him to follow Edward, and since Jasper was nothing more than a monster, he gripped Edward's hand more tightly and smiled. "Let's go, darlin'."

Edward smiled again, but this time it was pure evil.

He was ready to kill.

And so was Jasper.

Together they walked the last kilometer, as not to reveal themselves by running, and finally came to the huge entrance of an amusement park.

Jasper had never been to an amusement park before. He didn't even think they were open in the winter.

"They have a special winter theme here and are open all year long," Edward answered Jasper's unspoken question.

Jasper looked at Edward and knew they weren't there for the attractions.

Edward returned Jasper's stare and smiled darkly. "You're right about that, love."

Edward dragged Jasper through the opening and led the way expertly, clear on his target. Jasper started to feel the burn in his throat the closer he got to the humans and began to feel uneasy.

What if I lose control? Jasper thought, dreading the prospect.

Edward stopped up again and turned to Jasper. "So what if you lose control? Nobody will notice a scream in an amusement park if you're quick enough."

Jasper furrowed his brow, his thoughts being distracted by the smell of human blood. He couldn't quite concentrate on Edward's words, so Edward took hold of Jasper's shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.

"Stop breathing for a minute and focus on me," Edward insisted. Jasper held his breath and focused his attention on Edward.

"Try to feel what I feel." Jasper was confused by this but did as Edward asked. He pushed his own feelings aside and gave in to Edward's. They were dark, lustful and completely overpowering. Jasper's lips curled into a malicious smile as his own feelings were affected by Edward's.

He was transforming into a killer.

"I think I'm ready to have some fun now too," Jasper said, before kissing Edward fiercely.

They broke apart fairly quickly because the scent of blood distracted them both, and they were ready to hunt.

Edward led the way, and soon they were standing at the entrance of the haunted house.

Jasper saw a young couple walk in and licked his lips at the thought of setting his teeth into the man's neck.

"Patience, Jasper," Edward remarked. Jasper snapped from his fantasy and noticed the back entrance to the haunted house. He sent a thought to Edward, and when he nodded at Jasper's proposal, they made their way to the door. They made sure no one saw them as they slipped inside.

Their eyes didn't need to adjust to the darkness; they could see everything perfectly.

Jasper smelled the humans immediately and started to walk in their direction, when Edward held him back.

"What do you say we make it interesting?" Edward smirked with a raised eyebrow.

Jasper loved the idea of toying with their dinner. They had done it several times before, but it was even more exciting in a haunted house.

_Oh, the possibilities, _he thought.

They quickly discussed a plan and went their separate ways to get started. Jasper ran past an open doorway near the couple, which made them turn around and gasp. They thought it was a part of the tricks and spooks the house had to offer, and walked on through the house.

They had no idea.

Jasper replaced a giant clown with himself, and stood in the shadow, prepared to jump out at any second.

The couple walked past a mad scientist with an evil laugh that resounded in the whole house. The woman screamed, but soon began to laugh.

Suddenly the vague light that was on—so you could see where you were going—turned off. Then the noises and lights coming from the various scary figures, turned off.

The couple began to feel uneasy. Jasper could feel their fear and anxiety level rise higher by the minute. It was completely exhilarating to experience.

He couldn't wait any longer, and he knew Edward must have been dying to get on with it too.

"Rick, come on. Let's just get out of here," the woman said, pulling on his arm. She sounded scared and it was obvious that she knew something wasn't right.

A crash was heard further down the long pathway the couple had walked on. He knew Edward was trying to get the couple to move towards the place Jasper stood, waiting for them.

The man, _Rick_, didn't budge. Jasper could feel his anxiety but he didn't want to appear scared or weak in front of the woman.

"I'm certain everything is as it should be, dear. Calm down and let's finish the walkthrough," Rick said in a reassuring tone. He almost believed what he was telling the woman, himself. Jasper knew the truth though, and it thrilled him. He even thought up a new plan that was even better than just jumping out from his hiding place and scaring the couple.

He had to get Edward in on it too though. "_Edward,_" he barely whispered, so the couple wouldn't be able to hear him. "_Change of plans. Meet me about ten meters from where the couple are right now._"

Then Jasper flew by the couple, startling them and making their anxiety rise even further. The woman was close to a panic attack at this point.

Edward and Jasper met up and Jasper quickly laid out his devious plan for Edward.

Meanwhile, the couple walked quickly in the direction they thought was the way out, but accidently made a wrong turn.

"Maybe we should just stay here and wait for the light to turn on," Rick suggested.

"What? I don't want to just wait here!" the woman shouted. She was clearly distraught and was beginning to panic at the prospect of staying in the cold dark corner of the haunted house, for an indefinite time.

"Is someone in here?" Jasper appeared in the doorway and made his way to the couple. He could see them clearly and knew they would only be able to see his outline because of the darkness.

"Oh, thank God!" the woman said and let go of Rick to walk over to Jasper.

"_If only she knew."_ Jasper thought.

"We were beginning to worry we might be trapped in here," the woman said, relieving a sigh.

Jasper noticed she was quite beautiful, with her long, curly orange hair, green eyes and petite form. The man, however, held more of Jasper's attention. He had short, brown hair that was smoothed backwards by gel, side burns, stubble on his jaw and honey colored eyes. The couple was complete opposites, but Jasper could feel the strong bond of love between them.

"I'm sure we can find a way out together," Jasper assured her with a smile. She wouldn't be able to see the darkness in his eyes, or the cruel twist of his lips, in the almost pitch black room.

"My name is Amelia. This is my boyfriend Rick," she introduced.

Jasper licked his lips. "Jasper. Nice to meet you."

Jasper could hear Edward in the hallway, stomping his feet so the humans could hear him as well. "Jasper?"

"Yes, I'm in here," Jasper answered back. _And I can't wait much longer. Their scent is driving me crazy. _Jasper added in his thoughts as Edward entered the room.

Edward smirked and nodded as he made his way toward the others. Rick had taken a couple of steps closer to his girlfriend and was now standing behind her, looking over her shoulder. He had a wary expression on his face and seemed reluctant to be close to the two strangers.

Jasper thrived on the man's fear. He could tell it just as thrilling for Edward. They were both getting impatient.

Jasper stepped closer to Amelia. He knew her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, allowing her to see more of his features.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward," Jasper informed the couple. Rick snorted and whispered _fags_ under his breath, sure that no one but him would be able to hear it. Amelia said nothing, but seemed uncomfortable with the information nonetheless. Whether it was from the actual statement or because she just didn't know what to do with the information, Jasper didn't know.

Jasper turned his attention to Rick. "Problem, _Rick_?"

Rick's eyes widened slightly at the anger in Jasper's voice and Jasper could feel Rick's fear start to return.

"N-no," Rick stuttered, standing still even as Jasper began to move towards him. It was only two steps and then Jasper was standing right in front of Rick with a wicked smile on his face.

They loved to share this information with everyone—just to get a rise out of them. They often let the "tough guys" live after they had broken their arms and legs. To teach them a lesson of course.

"It isn't wise to berate and judge strangers when you're here—" Jasper paused, gesturing his hand slightly. "—all alone," he finished, his voice dropping an octave lower.

"W-what do you me-mean?" Rick asked. His fear showed that he knew he was in trouble.

"Can we just find a way out of here, please?" Amelia begged, her anxiety coming back slightly. Though, it was more from being in the dark haunted house, then being with total strangers.

Edward came up to Amelia, startling her slightly. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Miss."

Amelia audibly gulped but said nothing.

"Yeah, and why is that?" her boyfriend asked, taking a step away from Jasper. He might have sounded confident, but Jasper knew he was even more afraid than before.

Edward kept his focus on Amelia. "You really are beautiful, Chérie," he cooed, running the back of his hand down her cheek. "It's almost a shame."

Amelia was blushing and her pulse was rising, though Jasper didn't know if it was from attraction or fear. From personal experience, Jasper would have to say both.

"Hey, get your hands away from my girlfriend!" Rick yelled. He stepped forward with his arm raised, ready to stop Edward's ministrations, but Jasper grabbed his arm and pulled him back against his hard body.

"Maybe you should think about your actions, before you do something you would regret," Jasper whispered into the Rick's ear. He shivered from Jasper's cold breath in his ear and tried to get away. His attempts were useless though, because Jasper had a strong hold on the man and he wasn't letting Rick go that easy.

Jasper wasn't paying much attention to Edward and the girl, but he knew she must be dazzled by him. Everyone who met Edward was unable to resist his charms. Jasper would know this better than anyone.

"Just let me go, man," Rick said, trying to sound determined and firm, but came of as desperate.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, _man_," Jasper replied, echoing both Edward's words from earlier and Rick's "_man_".

He was trying to confuse and scare Rick. It was working.

"Amelia?" Rick tried to get the attention of his girlfriend, but it was completely fruitless. She was a goner. Edward had her under his spell, and she had no chance in hell of getting away.

"You don't need to worry about her, Gorgeous. Edward will take good care of her," Jasper assured, though it was very provocative. They both knew Edward would kill her. Even if Rick wasn't ready to accept it completely.

Jasper licked Rick's neck, venom immediately flooding his mouth at the anticipation of tasting the warm liquid. Rick tried to jerk his head to the side and wriggle his body free from Jasper grasp.

It was no use. Jasper had him in a tight grip and wasn't letting go until he had drained Rick of all his blood.

Edward chose a different approach and decided to play cat and mouse with the frightened girl. Jasper chuckled at the sight before turning his attention to Rick again. Jasper quickly turned the man around in his arms and moved skillfully so he was now pressing Rick against the wall. Jasper's forearms were placed on both sides of Rick's head and his body was holding Rick in place.

"You smell so fucking delicious," Jasper taunted. Rick was trashing from side to side trying to get away from the pressure of Jasper's body. Jasper knew Rick would never stop fighting until the life was drained out of him.

All of a sudden, Rick got his hand free and punched Jasper in the jaw, screaming out in pain when his fist connected. Jasper heard bones breaking and grinned widely.

"Uuh, that tickled." Rick was not paying attention to anything Jasper said, he could only focus on the searing pain in his hand.

Jasper decided he was finished with the foreplay and went straight for Rick's throat, sinking his teeth into the hot flesh. Rick screamed out again from the added pain and tried to push Jasper's head away to no avail. Jasper was locked tight on Rick's neck as the blood seeped from his neck into Jasper's hungry mouth, down to his burning throat. The more blood he drained, the more the burn began to lessen.

Jasper continued to drink, until Rick became limp in his arms. He held the lifeless body in his arms as he detached himself from Rick's neck and licked his lips.

He blinked several times, while his eyes filled with a crimson red color.

He suddenly felt a pair of hands on his hips and familiar lips at his neck, kissing its way up to his ear. Jasper moaned and dropped the slack body onto the floor.

Edward turned Jasper around and crushed his blood covered lips to Jasper's. "Mmhm, Love, you taste divine. I saved some for you from the female," Edward said turning his head in the other direction where Amelia lay still on the floor. Jasper smelled the blood seeping from her and heard her vague pulse. It all called to him.

In a flash he had her body in his arms and his teeth sunk into her neck, sucking out the rest of the blood. It was even better than the man's blood.

When Jasper was finished, life was completely drained from her frail body, and he sat back against the wall, wiping his mouth of the remaining blood.

"I've taken care of the other one, now we just need to dispose of this one." Edward spoke without emotion as he sat down next to Jasper.

As Jasper slowly fell down from the high he had been on since they entered the haunted house, he began to feel guilty. The couple had appeared very much in love and with a bright future ahead of them. Now they were dead so two vampires could quell their insane thirst.

"Don't," Edward said firmly. "This is what we do, who we are." He tilted Jasper's head upward and looked him dead in the eye. "Embrace it, live it. Humans are just that—humans. They're fragile creatures walking the Earth to satisfy our needs, just like small fish are alive to satisfy the need of bigger, stronger fish."

Jasper gulped as he mulled over Edward's words. It was the absolute truth, but it still nagged Jasper to no end.

Edward's eyes became hard when he realized his point wasn't coming across, and he kissed Jasper hard on the lips.

"You think too much, love," Edward said, with no particular endearment meant when he said "love." He never really meant it as an endearment, and Jasper was well aware of that.

He kissed down Jasper's neck while trying to convince Jasper to surrender to darkness as he so often did. _He was good at it too,_ Jasper thought to himself while he enjoyed the feel of Edward's lips on his body.

"You're satisfied, happy and empowered, Jasper. Enjoy it," Edward whispered seductively, before crashing his lips to Jasper's yet again.

Jasper moaned and gave himself completely away to the emotions he wanted to feel while ignoring the rest. He supplied himself with need from Edward's surging emotions and turned them around so he was lying on top of Edward. He kissed Edward with passion while pressing his semi hard cock into Edward's thigh.

If this is what it feels like to fully live on obscure emotions, Jasper was ready to surrender himself to the darkness, just like Edward wanted him too.

Because he would do anything to be with Edward.

* * *

**August 1929.**

Jasper crashed Edward against the building, the sound echoing throughout the dark alley. He pressed his lips to Edward's while they ground their hips against each other in frantic movements.

"Let's just go home, darlin'," Jasper pleaded, trailing kisses down Edward's neck.

"No, I already smell it, I can't…" Edward trailed off. Jasper knew what he meant, but he didn't care about the humans—he just wanted to be with Edward.

"Please, Edward."

Jasper looked Edward straight in the eye with all the unrequited love he had for Edward. Edward turned them around and was now pressing Jasper against the building, kissing him lightly on the lips.

Jasper knew what this meant.

A goodbye kiss.

"I won't be long. Wait for me at home," Edward said softly but with an underlying coldness Jasper didn't like. He was already preparing for the hunt, his mind probably thinking up creative ways to frighten and capture his prey.

Jasper sighed because he knew he had lost the battle. He could never win against Edward's lust for blood. It was stronger than anything else.

"Hurry," Jasper whispered and kissed Edward quickly before turning and walking away. He knew Edward wouldn't stay and watch him leave—he didn't really care how his actions affected Jasper—but Jasper couldn't help but turn around to see Edward had left. He knew he was a masochist, but he didn't know how to control it. So he just let Edward hurt him time and time again.

It was late March when Jasper first came to terms with his love for Edward. He had tried to deny it, telling himself it was just lust, but Jasper couldn't deny how he felt about Edward—his charm, his voice, his softness that Jasper so rarely got to see, but when he did, he was always reminded of how much he really loved Edward.

No matter how much Edward hurt him, he would always find a way to forgive him. Edward didn't even need to ask for forgiveness—because he never apologized for anything—Jasper would just grant it to him freely.

He boiled it down to love. He loved Edward and would therefore do anything for him. And with him.

Edward liked to go on hunting trips, and even though Jasper sometimes found it hard to cope with the killing and the darkness, he went with Edward anyway. It was just what they did. They hunted, they fucked, and they were each other's companions.

And yet, somewhere along that mindless road, Jasper had fallen in love with Edward.

Jasper made it to their house a while after parting with Edward in the alley. It was dark and cold—matching Jasper's mood perfectly.

Buying the house had been just a snitch in their finances. Ever since Edward started gambling, they had more money than they knew what to do with. Jasper so desperately wanted to give it away to charity—support families of war, but never voiced his opinions aloud. He knew Edward had read it in his mind countless of times, but never said a word about it.

Sighing, Jasper made his way in the living room where he put on jazz music. He loosened his tie and pulled of his suit jacket, laying it neatly on the back of the sofa. He relaxed as he sat down on the sofa, wishing—not for the first time—that he would be able to sleep.

Hours passed and Edward had still not returned home. This was not the first time he would promise Jasper that he "wouldn't be long" and then stay out for hours, sometimes an entire night. One time he didn't come back for three days, and Jasper had missed him too much to be angry with him.

It was the basic nature of their relationship. Jasper was the giver and Edward was the taker. Just like Maria.

No, he couldn't compare Edward to Maria. Jasper thought he had loved Maria, but after falling in love with Edward he realized he had been fooling himself. Or rather, Maria had been fooling Jasper.

Now that he knew how it felt to be truly in love with someone, he wasn't willing to let it go. He knew his relationship with Edward was tearing him apart, but he just wasn't ready to let it go.

Maybe Edward would change.

It was a small hope—one that Jasper was desperately clinging onto because he couldn't fathom his life without Edward.

It didn't exist in his mind.

"Honey, I'm home!" Edward yelled from the hallway. Jasper snorted at his greeting. He used it a lot.

In the span of a second, Edward was standing in the living room behind the sofa Jasper was sitting on.

Edward put his head down besides Jasper's ear. "I missed you."

Jasper stood up before Edward could kiss him. It was always the same when Edward got home from these late nights; Edward would whisper sweet words in Jasper's ear and kiss him until he would cave in and forgive Edward. Then they would make love all day and when night fell again, Edward would insist they go out to kill.

See the pattern? Well, Jasper was sick and tired of said pattern, and he often tried to deny Edward what he wanted.

This time he was determined to pull through.

"Where were you?" Jasper spat angrily.

Edward's face became cold. "Have you suddenly become my caretaker?"

Edward never said "mother" or "father." He never even talked about his parents. Jasper hardly knew anything about Edward's past.

"I have the right to kn—"

"You have right to shit!" Edward cut Jasper off with a roar. Jasper took a step back, even though they weren't standing particularly close. When he had recovered, he stepped up to Edward so they were standing chest to chest.

"I don't have the right to know if you're with…" Jasper started with confidence, but couldn't say what he needed to say. It was in his mind though so Edward knew what he was asking.

"You really think…" Edward started, but he couldn't finish his own sentence either. Seconds passed and Jasper could see the shift in Edward. He knew he should have never asked.

"You really fucking think I would be with other men?" Edward shouted in Jasper's face, before he ran them both up against the wall.

Edward pulled Jasper's hands up above his head and pressed himself hard against Jasper.

Jasper didn't feel remorse for asking the question, or anger for the fact that Edward came home late again.

He just felt broken.

"Jasper, love, look at me," Edward cooed. Jasper could only lift his head to look into Edward's eyes. He didn't try to hide his hurt and loneliness. He let Edward—the man he loved with all his heart—see everything.

"Please, Jas, it was just a few hours. I'll try to come home to you earlier the next time." Jasper wasn't sure if it was supposed to soothe him or just make him willing to forgive Edward. Looking into Edward's eyes, Jasper would probably say the latter. It was always about getting forgiveness for Edward—never actually asking for it.

It wasn't that it made him want to forgive Edward—he knew the exact same thing would happen again next time—but he did it anyway. He always did.

"Okay," was all Jasper could say. He didn't have the will to fight Edward or the will to resist his advances.

Edward smiled in relief and satisfaction. Satisfaction because he knew he had won. It was all a game to Edward.

"You know what you mean to me, Jasper," Edward said in Jasper's ear, purposefully not using the word "love." And Jasper knew Edward didn't love him, but he still took those words and transformed them into his own kind of love.

"And you know that I love you," Jasper whispered, his hand softly touching Edward's cheek. Edward squirmed a bit under Jasper's gaze but eventually nodded and started kissing Jasper.

Edward had gotten better at accepting the words, though it was never easy for him to hear them. The first time Jasper had uttered them was in his mind, and Edward had left their house, coming home a few hours later and had rough sex with Jasper.

The first time he said the words out loud, they had a huge fight, and this time Jasper left, only to return a few hours later, regretting his decision and telling Edward he just wanted to be with him any way he could.

Even if Edward could never love him back.

"Stop thinking, love, just feel," Edward encouraged, his hands roaming freely up and down Jasper's chest while his lips occupied themselves kissing and nibbling on Jasper's jaw.

Jasper couldn't deny Edward what he wanted—what they both wanted.

He knew Edward needed this right now. While Jasper didn't like fighting or arguing with Edward, he sometimes felt it necessary, and often just wanted to discuss their problems. Edward was more of a "sweep it under the rug" kind of guy.

"Take me to bed, darlin'," Jasper whispered in Edward's ear before jumping up and wrapping his legs around Edward's waist. Talking could wait.

"With pleasure."

Edward smirked and ran them both up the stairs and into the bedroom before he put Jasper down.

He quickly tore the vest and shirt from Jasper's body, leaving the tie on. He worked the belt on Jasper's pants, pulled the zipper down and unbuttoned the top. He looked up at Jasper while he slowly slid the pants to the floor.

Edward growled when he realized Jasper had forgone underwear. Edward's hand immediately reached for Jasper's cock, and Jasper threw his head back and let out a loud moan. He was receiving two sets of sexual desires and was already hard as a rock.

Edward licked the underside of Jasper's cock, making him shudder with pleasure. "Fuck," Jasper breathed.

He took the entire length into his mouth letting it tap the back of his throat, and Jasper couldn't help the weird sound that escaped him—somewhere between a moan and a yelp.

Edward was fucking fantastic at sucking cock.

He leisurely continued to suck Jasper's cock, sometimes swirling his tongue around the head, gathering the pre-cum leaking from the tip.

"Goin' ta shoot if ya don't stop, darlin'," Jasper drawled, his accent always much thicker when he was aroused.

Edward kissed the tip one more time before standing up. "Get on the bed," he commanded while starting to take off his own clothes.

Jasper gladly complied and crawled on the bed, but before he could turn around, Edward was on top of him, pushing him down on the mattress.

"Do you know what you do to me, sticking your ass up in the air like that?" Edward growled. He accentuated his point by thrusting his cock between Jasper's ass cheeks but not yet entering.

Jasper gasped and then moaned because it felt so fucking good. Edward thrust his hips again, pre-cum making his cock slide easier.

"Feels so good," Edward groaned. His emotions were completely lost in pleasure. Jasper was close to coming, just by the little friction his cock got from rubbing against the mattress and all the lust coming from Edward.

Sex with Edward was better than any high he could imagine. Including blood. And not just because of their powers, though they certainly didn't hurt the experience.

"Edward… fuck me." Edward snapped out of his lust-induced haze and stilled his movements.

"Stay like this," he demanded, kissing Jasper's back before rushing to get the lube and a condom.

Jasper lay still in the bed, not even breathing. He wanted to touch his throbbing cock so bad, but he didn't want to come before Edward even entered him.

A few seconds later, Edward was back on top of Jasper, running his hands up and down Jasper's back. Moaning when Edward gently bit down on his shoulder, Jasper lifted his ass in a silent request.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Jasper?" The way Edward said his name made Jasper feel on fire. In a good way. Always in a good way.

"Yes… yes, please," Jasper whimpered, the sexual frustration from both of them getting to him. If the lustful emotions swirling around him weren't sated soon, he would surely explode.

"So responsive," Edward murmured.

Jasper was half aware of a condom wrapper being torn open and a slight drizzling sound of the lube. He could only focus on so many things, and right now lust was overtaking him.

Edward kissed each of Jasper's ass cheeks before he spread them wide and licked from the balls to the tight opening he would soon have his cock in. Jasper moaned and writhed on the bed, getting more and more impatient.

"Don't tease," Jasper said, trying to sound demanding but it came out more like pleading.

"Not teasing if you tend to carry through, love." Jasper groaned as Edward finally pushed a lube-slicked finger through his tight ring of muscle.

"Yes," Jasper drawled out with a moan. Edward's finger moved in and out at a slow, teasing pace that Jasper wasn't too happy with. He wanted Edward to fuck him into the mattress and finally relieve the sexual frustration bubbling inside of him.

"Hmm, your thoughts are riveting," Edward murmured in Jasper's ear as he added a second finger, making Jasper gasp.

Soon, Jasper was meeting Edward's fingers with hard thrusts of his hips, and Edward removed his fingers. Jasper whined and lifted his ass of the bed, leaving the begging to his thoughts.

Without warning, the head of Edward's cock pushed into Jasper. Jasper grunted at the pain and buried his head in the pillow.

"Oh… fuck," Edward moaned.

Jasper breathed in and reveled in the musky smell filling the room. He gripped the sheets tightly and lifted his ass to take more of Edward.

Nothing compared to being with Edward. The connection Jasper felt with Edward became so incredibly strong when they were together like this.

Jasper turned his head to kiss Edward, slowing everything down. They kissed while Edward started to move at a slow pace. Their bodies moved together to create the friction they both so desperately wanted.

Edward lifted Jasper's hips from the bed, going deeper while taking Jasper's neglected cock in his hand. He matched his stroked with the thrusts of his hips and soon they were both teetering on the edge.

Jasper didn't want it to end. He also couldn't stop the flood of sexual charge coming from Edward, mixing with his own need. They were begging him to let go and experience the high he knew was waiting for him.

"I need you to let go, Jasper," Edward mumbled, his lips still connected with Jasper's. "Now."

Jasper couldn't really come on command, but with four more strokes of his cock and a particular hard thrust of Edward's hips—hitting his magic spot—he exploded.

"Yes, oh fuck… just so…" Jasper cried out through his teeth.

Edward kept moving on top of him, still looking for release, and the emotions coming from him were keeping Jasper on his high.

Edward came after two more thrusts, shouting out in pleasure.

They both slowly came down from ecstasy, and Edward released Jasper's hips before rolling over to the other side of the bed. Jasper followed and curled up in Edward's arms.

This was also one of those moments he wished he could just fall asleep, tucked in at Edward's side.

Edward turned his body slightly, slung an arm over Jasper's waist and cradled Jasper against him. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just feeling each other. It was a rare moment between them and usually only happened when Edward came home late and they had sex. Cuddling out of guilt.

Edward finally got up, put on his pants and made his way downstairs. Jasper couldn't help but wish things were different. He loved Edward with all his heart, but being with him was a lot of work. Constant emotional turmoil was slowly wearing on Jasper. He knew it wasn't good for him, but he didn't have the strength—or will—to leave Edward. It simply wasn't an option.

With a sigh, Jasper crawled to the edge of the bed and sat up. He felt so utterly emotionless—an ironic contrast to what he had felt only minutes before. He felt like he couldn't even fight it anymore. Fight what, he didn't know. Maybe it was the fighting with Edward. Maybe it was the bloodlust. Maybe it was the thought of leaving Edward.

He didn't really know. He just knew that things had to be better than this. Right? Or was this all there was to a vampire life? First misery and despair with Maria, and then more despair but less misery with Edward. Could that really be it? Did being a vampire mean you were condemned like this?

Edward seemed to think so, and he wasn't shy about sharing his opinion on the topic with Jasper either.

"Do you want a glass?" Edward asked from downstairs. Jasper cleared his thoughts and focused on blood. Did he want some? No, not really.

"All right, more for me then," Edward responded to Jasper's thoughts.

Jasper growled. He had started to hate the fact that Edward could always read his mind. He had gotten better at hiding his thoughts, thinking about being happy when he wasn't. Thinking about having fun when he was bored or sometimes disgusted with what they were doing.

Maybe he had actually gotten so good at convincing himself that he had a good life, he had started to believe it himself.

Jasper snorted and got up from the bed. He did have a good life—a great life. He wouldn't trade his time with Edward for anything. And it was a hell of a lot better than being Maria's puppet.

He ran downstairs and found Edward skimming the bookcase with a glass of red liquid in hand. He didn't turn around to look at Jasper.

"Tell me you're up for round two," Jasper whispered huskily in Edward's ear, placing his hands on Edward's waist.

He got Edward's attention at this. "Oh, I'm always up for round two, love," he replied, while turning around in Jasper's arms.

Their eyes connected briefly, before their lips collided.

* * *

**May 1930.**

This was it.

He was finally leaving. Leaving his life behind. Leaving Edward behind.

It had been far from easy. Seeing Edward torn apart like that, feeling his emotions had been hard for Jasper. He almost decided not to go. But he had to. He was determined this time.

Jasper's control had improved immensely. He had started getting blood from Walter again—leaving Edward to hunt alone—and had kept it rationed, only drinking when he, in fact, needed to feed.

He had also learned to control his feelings for Edward. He had learned to say no.

With Edward not controlling him anymore, he felt freer. And he realized he needed to leave.

As he drove out of the city, he thought of nothing but Edward. He didn't want to think about anything but Edward. He remembered Edward's reaction when he told him he was leaving. It had not been pleasant at first, but Jasper hadn't expected anything else.

"_What the fuck do you mean, 'you're leaving'?" Edward asked. Edward's mood was not what Jasper had hoped for when telling Edward the news. Although, it was what he had expected. _

"_I have to, Edward. This life—living with you—is killing me." Edward snorted before Jasper even finished the sentence, which made Jasper angry. _

"_It's killing you? You're already fucking dead! And what did you expect anyway? Roses and candles every night?" Edward spat. Jasper held his composure even though he just wanted to yell at Edward. He usually did when Edward said bullshit like this. Not this time, however. It was their last time together, and he really didn't want to spend it fighting. _

"_Just stop. I don't want to fight," Jasper said as calmly as he could. _

"_Oh, you don't want to fight? Well, maybe you should stop talking about leaving me then!" _

_Jasper took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Why couldn't his ability be able to work on himself?_

"_It's not just talk. I really am leaving." Jasper looked Edward in the eyes and waited for a response. Or waited for more yelling. _

_Edward's face was hard to read, but Jasper could see realization dawning on Edward. It was hard to miss. The thing he couldn't read was if it made Edward angry or sad. It wouldn't exactly surprise him if it was the former. _

_Minutes went by in silence until Edward spoke up. "So, what… you're really… leaving?"_

_Jasper looked at the bag he held in his hand and back up at Edward. He didn't have to say anything this time. Edward didn't really mean it as a question anyway. _

"_But… how long will you be gone?" Edward asked quietly, his eyes focused on his shoes. He didn't seem sad or angry. Just… emotionless. _

"_I-I'm not coming back." Jasper was almost afraid to speak the words. And with good reason._

_Edward's head shot back up and his eyes locked with Jasper's. There was an odd fury in them that Jasper had never seen before. It was a combination of anger—mostly anger—and passion. It was the passion Jasper had never really seen in Edward before. Not like this._

"_What?" Edward's tone was full of controlled anger. Jasper wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. Edward's hands were balled into fists, and his eyes were blazing with rage. _

"_You're not fucking coming back?" he yelled. Jasper flinched and took a step back. Why did he have a feeling that this was how they were going to part ways? Edward being mad at Jasper to conceal hurt and unhappiness. Jasper couldn't decipher why Edward would do this. He knew Jasper would be able to read his emotions. _

"_I… don't," Jasper started but stopped when he realized he didn't actually know what to say. What could he say? The last twenty-two months have been hell and I now finally found the courage to leave you. No, that wouldn't go over well. _

"_Oh, it's been hell? Do you think living with you has been easy? Needy and boring," Edward spat. Jasper didn't know if he was supposed to be furious or start crying. He felt utterly torn. _

"_Why are you doing this?" Edward said before Jasper could even think about what to respond. His voice and posture were the complete opposite now. His hands weren't balled into fists, but curled around his waist. His eyes weren't filled with uncontrolled fury, but rather vulnerability and hurt. His voice wasn't loud and demanding, but quiet. A quiet that startled Jasper. It wasn't like Edward to show these kinds of emotions to others. Not even Jasper. _

"_I have—I need to do this," Jasper whispered. He wanted to choose his words carefully, as to not anger Edward again. He didn't normally do that but he didn't want Edward to be angry right now, because maybe, just maybe they could have the kind of goodbye Jasper longed for. _

"_I don't—you've—I," Edward stuttered and lowered his eyes to the ground. He wanted to talk to Jasper. Figure things out. Get answers. But his brain wouldn't cooperate with him. _

_Jasper stepped closer to Edward, but was still a little wary. Even though he had hoped this would be Edward's reaction—so they could say a proper goodbye—he didn't actually know what to say or do when he saw this vulnerable side of Edward. _

"_I love you, darlin'. But I deserve better." Jasper decided to go with honesty. He hoped Edward would reciprocate. _

_Edward looked up with the same look in his eyes from before. "Maybe… maybe you're right," he said slowly and diverted his eyes again by turning his head to the side. His hands ran up and down his arms, like a human would do if he was cold. _

_Edward had never actually agreed on much with Jasper. Only certain things—mostly sexual—but never something like this. What was next—was he going to apologize?_

_At this remark, Edward's head snapped up, and anger was back. He was about to say something, when his expression changed again. Something seemed to click in his mind. _

"_Look, I'm sorry, Edward," Jasper apologized before Edward could say anything. He really didn't want Edward to get angry again. _

"_I won't. I promise," Edward said absentmindedly. Jasper wished he knew what Edward was thinking. He often did, but this seemed important. _

_Edward snapped to attention again and stood in front of Jasper in a flash. "Don't go," he pleaded. _

_He took Jasper's hands, intertwining their fingers, and brought their bodies close. "Don't go," he repeated. _

_Jasper wanted to say something—anything—but he didn't know what. His mind was made up, and nothing Edward could say would change his mind, but it still hurt. To hear him pleading. He hadn't expected it. _

_Edward let go of Jasper's hands and brought his own hands to Jasper's hips, pulling them even closer. _

"_Don't leave me," he tried again. He rested his forehead against Jasper's and closed his eyes. "Please don't leave me."_

_Jasper was tearlessly crying. He couldn't handle seeing Edward like this. It was too much for him. He felt his resolve crumble. Could he really leave him?_

_Minutes went by and they said nothing. Just held each other close._

_Finally, Jasper pulled his forehead away from Edward's and cupped his cheek. He leaned in and captured Edward's lips in a soft kiss. Edward didn't try to deepen it, and for that Jasper was grateful. Not because he didn't want Edward, but because he needed to leave soon and he had already said goodbye when they had made love last night. Of course, Edward didn't know Jasper was leaving then, so it had been more for Jasper's sake. _

"_Goodbye, Edward," Jasper said softly. _

Jasper drove off the road, parking at the curb. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and tried to push thoughts of Edward out of his head. He might only want to think about Edward right now, but it wasn't doing him any good. He needed to get out of town and forget about Edward.

He heard a car approaching in the distance and looked up. The sun had come out from behind dark clouds. It somehow gave him hope. If the sun could emerge from thick, dark clouds, Jasper would be able to pull through this too.

Jasper got out of the car and went to the trunk. He didn't want to drive anymore, he wanted to run. He just needed something important. Getting the small bag out that he had packed in a hurry before leaving, he opened it and rummaged through it.

"Please be here, please be here," he chanted. He wasn't even sure he had remembered to pack it.

"Thank God," he breathed, when he finally pulled it out of the bag.

It was a fedora hat. Well, not just a fedora hat, it was the fedora hat Edward had worn the night they met. Even though he was leaving, he wanted a piece with him that reminded him why he had stayed in the first place. He had known—even then without realizing it—that Edward was the one. When he looked up and locked eyes with Jasper that was it.

Jasper wanted to remember that.

He straightened it out as best as he could, but it was still slightly dented. He would have to fix that later.

He put the hat back in the small bag and put it over his shoulder. He breathed in and smelled no humans.

And then he ran.

* * *

**Jasper's POV.**

**May 1950.**

Twenty years.

It's been twenty years since I last saw his face, held him in my arms and heard his confident voice. Though, the last time I saw him, it had not been so confident.

But that's not how I remember Edward. It's not how I want to remember Edward.

He was such an important part of my life. It was not even close to being easy, leaving him. But I had to. In my heart I knew I was doing the right thing for myself.

I think about him a lot. What he's doing with his life, if he's with someone else—though, I probably know the answer to that question—and if he ever thinks about me. That's the hardest to think about. It's even harder to imagine that he has forgotten me.

I brush my thoughts about Edward aside because it's all I've really been thinking about today. I thought about telling Alice, but she's prepared for this for so long and I don't want to ruin it for her. Not that I think she would be mad at me. No, she would probably apologize profusely and blame herself for not asking me what I honestly thought about moving. That's just the kind of wonderful person she is, and I love her for that. So—I didn't tell her.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks me quietly, as if I will be mad at her for interrupting my thoughts.

I chuckle lightly. After two years, she still doesn't really know how to act around me. I guess the same goes for me sometimes. We have a great relationship though, and I love her with all my heart. It was difficult at first—adapting to the company of another person. Being with Alice is in no way the same as being with Edward. Living with a lover is so different from living with your best friend.

But we made it work, and I've never been happier with my life than I am today.

"Nothing much. You know me," I reply with a sly grin. Just by laughing, Alice brings my mood from bottom to top. She's the sunshine in my life.

"Yes, Jas, I know you, and I also know we will be arriving in ten minutes. Maybe you could stop with the daydreaming and start with the pep talk," she says nervously. Even though it was her vision and her idea, I still have to be the one to convince her we're making the right choice.

"We've already made the choice, honey. What could go wrong?" I question, hoping it will work.

She glances at me for a brief moment before turning her eyes back on the road. I thought I saw a look of guilt for a second, but that can't be true. What would she have to be guilty about?

"You're right. The choice is final and the outcome is great, but there are still different scenarios depending on what choice they make. I mean, it's not just—"

"Alice!" I cut her off because her voice was becoming a little panicked. If she gets like this, it's best to just shut her up. She never seems to overthink things in her head. But when she voices them aloud, it becomes jumbled and messy, and she just can't deal with it anymore.

After a few seconds of thinking, she turns to look at me real quick again. "Sorry."

"Nothin' to be sorry about, Honey. Just relax and think about your visions. The Cullens seem like nice people from what you've told me," I soothe. I work her emotions a tiny bit so she'll be more relaxed. I promised her I would never tamper would her emotions. But if I only to it a little now and then, she never notices, and it's always in her best interest.

"They are. You're right—again. Just relax, Alice." She says the last part quietly to herself. I squeeze her hand in reassurance as we drive on a gravel road through a forest that's thick with green trees, perfectly aligned with each other. The sun is high in the sky and shining through the green leaves, making them glister with thousands of sparkles.

It's absolutely magnificent to watch.

At the end of the road, there's a huge meadow surrounded by trees, and right in the middle lays a cozy yet large house.

We park the car and decide not to bring our belongings, just opting for greeting the family of vampires first. We're both really excited about meeting them, but I'm still a little wary. I trust Alice and her visions, so I just follow along wherever she goes. It's brought me so much joy so far, so I'm naturally optimistic.

I take in a deep breath and freeze mid-step. My foot slowly lowers to the ground as I try not to freak out.

Did Alice know about this? Is it really what I think it is, or is my imagination playing a cruel trick on me?

With all these thoughts racing through my head and the scent invading my nostrils, I hadn't focused on the house. Four vampires are standing in front of it, looking curious and guarded. Two men and two women. I can tell it's two couples by the way the men both stand protectively in front of their mates and by their emotions.

Finally, one of the men—the oldest from the looks of it—steps forward with a smile on his face.

"Hello," he greets with his attention to Alice, who is standing much closer to them than I am. I still can't will my body to move. All I can think about is that scent.

"Hi! My name's Alice." She returns the greeting with a grin. This eases the four of them a little.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance. May I ask what you're doing on our property?" Carlisle asked in a non-threatening way.

"Well, we—that's me and my friend Jasper over—" A sound of breaking glass was heard from inside the house along with a muffled "fuck," cutting Alice off.

I ran toward the house, determined to see for myself. The scent, the voice—it could only be one person.

The four vampires stop me before I can reach the door. We all growl at each other as I try to find a way past them. I have to know.

"Let me through, goddammit!" I demand.

They don't get a chance to respond; the large double doors are suddenly swinging open to reveal what I knew all along.

He steps outside in the glistening sunlight and walks past the other four vampires before finally standing in front of me. When I lock my eyes with his, time seems to stop, and it's just like the first time.

His golden yet still familiar eyes are staring into my own, and I think my skin is on fire, but I wouldn't know. I only have focus on one thing. One man.

"Jasper," he whispers, like he needs to say my name to make it real.

Apparently I do too. "Edward."


	3. The Reunion

**AN: It's been a while since I posted something and this is one thing I've been working on. A continuation of the oneshot I wrote for Slash/Backslash contest. It's mostly fluff but it has its serious moments. **

**Enjoy this little piece of Edward and Jasper's reunion. I certainly enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

**Jasper's POV.**

**May 1950. **

_**From the previous chapter:**_

_He steps outside in the glistening sunlight and walks past the other four vampires before finally standing in front of me. When I lock my eyes with his, time seems to stop, and it's just like the first time. _

_His golden, yet still familiar, eyes are staring into my own, and I think my skin is on fire, but I wouldn't know. I only have focus on one thing. One man._

"_Jasper," he whispers, like he needs to say my name to make it real. _

_Apparently I do too. "Edward."_

* * *

"Emmett, Rosalie," the burly man says, pointing first at himself and then at the blonde. "Now can we move on to what the fuck is going on here?"

I take a split second to look at the man, but immediately divert my eyes back to Edward's. He's so incredibly close and I want nothing more than to reach out and touch him.

Just getting a quick read on his emotions I can tell he has changed. It isn't a subtle change either. His whole demeanor has changed. Even his features have changed.

"You're… here," he whispers as his hand moves to my cheek. I want to close my eyes and revel in the feel of his touch—the same touch I've yearned to feel for the past twenty years—but I can't tear my eyes away from his. He has me spellbound the same way he did when we first met. It's electrifying.

I take a step closer to him, so his hand lands in my wavy hair and our noses are almost touching. I say nothing as I lean my forehead against his and finally close my eyes.

Right in this moment it's only me and him, and it doesn't feel like it's been twenty years.

After what might have been hours of standing like that, Edward gently tugs on my hair and I lift my head to look into his eyes again. We might have been embracing for a long time, but everything feels like it's moving in slow motion. Actually, it feels more like a dream.

I lean forward and capture his lips in a soft kiss. He stills for a second before pressing into me, returning my kiss with more fervor. His hand tightens in my hair while I put my hands on his hips to pull him closer.

It's essentially a chaste kiss, but it's more for the comfort of being close than actually kissing. I kiss down his chin and neck before burying my face in the crook of his neck.

I'm finally home again.

"Edward," I breathe into his neck. There are so many things I want—need—to say but I don't know where to start. I don't really feel like talking anyway. Not when I'm finally in his arms again. No, this is where I want to stay forever, and the more we stand like this, the more I keep thinking, _how did I ever let go?_

Edward curls his body around mine in a comforting way and breathes in. "I have so many questions, love, but… I just can't believe you're here." He pauses and breathes in again and I do the same. I've missed his scent and I've missed hearing him calling me 'love'.

"I've missed you more than you'll ever know," he finally says. But I do know. I know, because I feel exactly the same way.

"Not even close darlin'." He chuckles and I laugh into his neck, feeling impossibly light.

Impossibly free.

There's something about being near him again that changes me. I realize I haven't changed just now, no I changed the moment I left Edward and now I'm finally able to be myself again. Imagine, holding your breath for a few minutes and then finally being able to let it go. Immediate relief.

"I want to stay like this forever, I really do, but I also want you to meet a few people," he whispers into my hair. It's then I remember that there had been other vampires around when we arrived. His coven.

I push myself away from him—though not enough to separate our bodies—and look around. They're all gone.

"Well, I think they wanted to give us some privacy." He grins at me and I smile back. It's then I notice his eyes. I stroke the back of my hand across his cheek and then settle the tips of my fingers underneath his right eye.

"Your eyes," I mumble. They're a blazing hazel color with gold flicks in them. They're mesmerizing.

He looks at me oddly before realizing. "Oh, yeah. I'm on a… special diet if you will," he explains.

I continue to gaze into his eyes, lost in the thousand different shades of gold. His fingers keep weaving through my hair, soothing me in a way only Edward can.

Minutes go by and we continue to stare into each other's eyes, reacquainting ourselves with the other. That's when the questions start running through my mind. What does this mean? Can we finally be together again? Has he moved on with someone else? Am I too late?

He kisses me softly, temporarily pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind.

"We really do have a lot to talk about, don't we?" he asks. But before I can agree with him, he starts to drag me toward the house.

"But first…" he trails off.

I hear the end of a conversation between Alice and another woman right before we walk through the doors.

"Of course we will," Alice says.

"That would be wonderful!" the woman gushes.

Edward walks us into what I presume is the living room. "What would be wonderful?"

The grin on his face makes me unable to contain my own.

"Oh, Edward," the woman says, her hands covering her smile. She's of average height and build with long, dark mahogany colored hair and the same golden eyes as Edward. Alice stands behind her with a smile that—even though she looks like a kid on Christmas morning—is nothing compared to Edward's smile.

The woman steps forward with open arms and I expect her to hug Edward, but am surprised when her arms envelop me instead. I awkwardly hug her back with one arm, because Edward won't let go of my hand. When she releases me, she holds onto my shoulders and looks from Edward, back to me a few times. If she had been human, she'd probably cry.

"Esme," Edward starts before looking at me. "This is Jasper."

The look on her face suddenly makes sense. She knows who I am.

"Oh, isn't this wonderful?" Alice jumps forward and hugs Edward briefly before kissing me on the cheek. "I just knew this would work!"

Wait, what?

As I'm putting two-and-two together, more vampires come rushing into the room. I don't have time to ask Alice about her comment before I'm introduced to the others. The burly man with short, black hair is Emmett. He's married to the beautiful blonde, Rosalie. And Carlisle is married to Esme. I also get the sense that he's the head of their coven.

"Welcome to our home," Carlisle greets with a smile. "I'm sorry about earlier. We didn't mean to come off as hostile, we were just protecting ourselves." I nod and tell him I understand.

Edward and I keep sharing glances and even though it's nice to meet everyone, what I really want to do is find a private place, so we can talk. Or not talk. I see Edward smirking out of the corner of my eye. Like he isn't thinking the same thing?

As if everyone else can read my mind too, they start to excuse themselves. First Emmett and Rosalie, then Carlisle and lastly Esme suggest that Edward take me to their house in the neighboring state while she shows Alice around the main house. We all think that's a great idea.

The house lies about 300 km north of their current home. It takes us two hours to run there, but only because we keep stopping to make out. We agreed that we'll talk first but the more time I spend with him, the more I want to say 'fuck the talk'. Twenty years is a long wait and now that we've found each other again—most definitely thanks to Alice's help—I don't feel like waiting any longer. Thankfully, neither does Edward.

I barely have time to admire the house before we're inside of it, kissing and shedding clothes. Actually it's more like shredding clothes.

"I've missed you every minute of every fucking day, love," Edward says between kisses. "I know we should talk, but I don't want to wait any longer."

"Good, because neither do I."

We make our way through the house alternating between making out against a wall and removing more clothing. Even though we're rough, love lingers in every touch, move and sound we make.

He pushes me up against the wall in the living room and grinds against me while laying passionate kisses from my neck to my navel.

He gets on his knees and looks up at me, his eyes now a coal black from desire. Winking, he lowers my zipper agonizingly slowly—in sharp contrast to every other move we've made so far—and pulls my pants down just enough to reveal my underwear.

I throw my head against the wall when he takes out my cock and pumps it a few times. When he seals his lips around me, I moan and gently lay my hands on his head to set the pace.

Taking all of me in, he sucks hard before releasing me and licking the underside of my cock. His moves—repeated over and over again—have me on edge in a matter of minutes. Right when I think he'll let me come, he lets me go and stands to kiss me again.

"I want you," he breathes into my ear before nipping on my lobe. I growl and fling us around so I can press him against the wall.

"That can be arranged, darlin'."

I tease his nipples and lick his abs, purposefully not giving him what he really wants. I slide off his pants, shoes and socks, while avoiding touching his aching cock. Occasionally, when I blow cold air on his cock, his back will arch and his mouth will fall open in anticipation, only to sink back into place when he realizes that I still don't intend to touch him.

"Please, love, I need… need." He's thrashing against the wall, his hands balled up into fists, his eyes closed tightly, and it's the most erotic thing I have ever seen.

I stand and press my chest to his still not touching his cock. He opens his eyes and I get momentarily distracted by his lust filled gaze.

"Jasper," he whispers. I kiss him softly and he brings his hands around my neck, pulling me closer. With a slight jump he wraps his legs around my waist and grinds his pelvis against mine.

"Oh, fuck."

"Soon, darlin', I promise," I say against his neck before I carry him to a room with a bed.

I lay him down gently and proceed to kiss him everywhere. My lips travel from his eyelids, to his neck, to his nipples, to his 'v' cut, past his rock hard erection and all the way down to his toes. I take my time exploring his body, remembering what makes him moan and clench his fists in the sheets.

"Love, please," he whimpers. I stand to remove my pants and suddenly remember lube.

"Top shelf in the cabinet above the sink. Bathroom's behind you," Edward says. I grin and run to the bathroom where I find a bottle of lube. I hurry back and find him flipped over with his ass in the air.

"_Fuck,_" I mutter. He turns his head in my direction and smirks.

"What are you waiting for, soldier?" he teases.

"Abso-fucking-lutely nothing." I straddle his thighs and run my hands over his back, down to his ass. He has a fantastic ass. And this will be the first time I get to top him.

"I want you, Jasper," he says with certainty.

I slowly prepare him, first with one finger, then two and, when he begins to meet my thrusts with his own, I insert a third.

"Mmm, feels so good," he moans. I coat my cock with lube and gently kiss between his shoulder blades.

"Turn around, baby." I get off his thighs so he can turn. Then I settle myself between his legs and kiss him. I'll never tire of his kisses.

He wraps his legs around my waist just like he had earlier and looks into my eyes with fierce love and determination.

I stroke his cheek with the back of my hand, so happy in this moment that I wish it would last forever. He smiles at my thoughts and kisses my fingers as they graze his lips.

"No more waiting, love," he repeats. I smile wider and kiss him one more time before the head of my cock enters his ass. I gasp as his ass clamps down on my cock tightly. I go slow, even though I know it doesn't hurt much beyond the first push. Thankfully, our bodies adjust quicker than a human does.

I watch his face fill with pleasure as I begin to move.

"Oh, oh. _Oh!_ Jasper, fuck," he chants. "Feels, uh, so good."

I kiss him hard as my thrusts increase, his mouth swallowing my moans of pleasure. He tightens his legs around my waist and digs his heels into my ass while clawing his nails into my back.

"Harder, fuck," Edward groaned. "I'm so close, love."

I move one of my hands to his cock and start stroking him in time with my thrusts. I use my other hand to hold myself above him and then I kiss him deeply as he comes all over his abdomen. If I thought it was erotic to see him come inside me, there are no words for how sexy he looks in this moment, falling over the edge under me.

I'm following close behind and after four thrusts I still and come inside him. Both my hands grab the pillows besides Edward's head and I tear them apart as I resume thrusting, spilling the last drops of my orgasm inside him.

"E-Edward!"

I collapse on top of him and bury my head into his neck, much like I had done earlier. He strokes my hair while we both come down from our high. I pull out of him, but remain on top of him.

"Mmm, Jasper. That was fucking amazing," he says after a while. A grin spreads across my face and it becomes so wide I just start laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

I roll over and pull him on top of me. "Because I'm so goddamn happy."

I can barely see anything, I'm smiling so big. He chuckles and lays his head on my chest. "If I ask you something, will you answer honestly?"

I stroke his hair as my smile falters, feeling the moment turning serious. "Of course, darlin'."

He pulls his head up and looks down at me with his intense golden eyes. "I want to hear everything about your life up until now."

"Most of it ain't pretty," I warn him. His face stays determined and I sigh, realizing we'll have to tell each other about the last twenty years of our lives.

"Okay, alright. Well, after I left, I pretty much just wandered around for a few years," I start.

I go on to explain the years I lived alone in various places, traveling from state to state and later from country to country in Europe and Asia. I did have some exciting experiences that I still remember fondly.

Throughout the whole thing Edward eagerly asked questions and when I had to tell him something difficult he laid his hand on top of mine and just listened.

"And then two years ago, I met Alice."

"I can't believe you've only known each other for two years. It seems as if you've grown up together." I sigh and run my hand through my hair for the hundredth time today.

"Yeah, we're pretty close. She's crazy, but I adore her," I admit. Then I look him in the eyes. "And she's the reason we're sitting together here right now."

"I need to give her a thank you gift. Maybe a castle. Do you think a castle will be enough?" he asks jokingly and I laugh as I roll on top of him.

"Nothing will ever be enough to show my gratitude to her." I smile and kiss his cheek.

He pushes a stray lock of hair away from my eyes and keeps his hand on my jaw. "I couldn't agree more, love," and then he kisses me passionately.

I'm surprised we have made it this far without going for round two.

* * *

Edward is lying on my chest—playing with my fingers—while humming softly. His sounds vibrate through my chest and give me a pleasant feeling. I start to recognize the song and hum along with him.

He stops and looks up at me with a small smile.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he answers with a bigger smile. I just shake my head and chuckle.

I love this. Having him in my arms again, laughing with him—at him—but most of all just being with him. It soothes an ache in my chest that has been there for years. It never truly went away as much as I tried to convince myself that I had moved on from him and started over. It was all a big, fat lie.

"I love this too," he starts, but I can tell he had more to say. After a few seconds he looks at me again and says the words I so long to hear. "And I love you."

If I needed to breathe I would say it took my breath away. If I had a heartbeat I would say those words made it beat faster. If I had tears to shed, they would fall silently down my cheeks right now. But I do have a voice. And it responds like it has memorized the answer its entire life.

"I love you too, Edward." I want to say so much more, but instead I flip him on his back and kiss him passionately. I pour more of my love into the kiss than I can ever say with words.

I don't understand the change in him. He looks almost the same, but he's completely different. Even though it isn't a bad change at all, I still can't help the feeling that I don't know who Edward is anymore. I don't know the man he has become.

Edward pulls away from me with a frown. "I suppose that's true."

"I was just thinking, Edward. It's… I didn't mean anything by it," I say as he turns sideways.

"No, it's fine. Your thoughts—they're all accurate." He runs a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have just… assumed. How can you really love me if you don't know me?"

With those words, he gathers his clothes, dresses, and runs out the door in a matter of seconds. His name is on my lips, but I don't speak it. Maybe I should just let us be apart for a while, think things through. I certainly know that I could use some time without Edward hearing my every thought.

* * *

It has been exactly twenty-four minutes since Edward stormed out the door.

Twenty-four minutes has given me time to think about the reality of the situation. I've thought about the first time we met and what made me stay with him. I've wondered what made me fall in love with him. And I've considered whether or not I had any right to tell him that I still loved him. Because how can I possibly know if I do?

Knocking—or should I say banging—on the door brings me out of my thoughts. I dress quickly and open the door to find Alice standing on the doorstep with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Why is it that I always have to clean up your messes?" she asks exaggeratedly.

"Excuse me?"

She walks past me and continue into the living room. "Give me one good reason why you're here and Edward's not."

"I don't know what happened!" I respond, for the first time expressing frustration.

Edward left because of something I thought, and I don't know what to do. I realize that I feel helpless and clueless about what to do because I don't know who he is. I no longer know how he'll react to things and why he'll react a certain way to different situations. The man I knew was selfish, lust craving, and at times truly cruel. I loved him because he made me laugh, because he freed me in a certain way and most of all, I loved him because I saw a glimpse of the goodness in him.

Now, I just can't describe why I love him. So how do I know? How can I really be sure that what I feel for him is love?

"Well, you two have got to make up, because this is just ridiculous," Alice exclaims, bringing me out of my train of thought.

"I know that, but what am I supposed to do, Alice? I don't know him," I say, looking down. "Not anymore."

"Oh, Jasper." Alice steps forward and puts her arms around my waist. I lay my head on top of hers and hug her back.

"Can't you just tell me what the best thing to do is?" I plead.

She pulls back and lifts my chin so she can look into my eyes. "I would, but the truth is it'll all end well no matter what you do. Except if you run away or give up."

A small smile forms on my lips. I really don't know what I'd do without this woman.

"Thank you, darlin'." I kiss her cheek and she whispers for me to go find him.

I follow his scent a little ways into the forest until it opens up to a clearing with bright blue and purple flowers. I see him sitting against a tree in the shade. As I step into the sunlight, his head whips up and the most awed expression covers his face.

I don't rush to get to him, but instead walk normally and about halfway there, I stop and sit down in the soft grass. I smile softly at him and lay down to look up at the white clouds. I immediately see one that looks like a rabbit.

"It kind of does," Edward says while approaching. I close my eyes as he lays down beside me. We lie in silence for a while before I relent and open my eyes to look at him. His eyes are still closed but a beautiful smile has formed on his lips.

I get up on my knees, scoot closer and fling my left leg over his body so I'm sitting on his lap. His eyes stay closed, but his lips parts and his hands move to my hips. I put my hands on his chest and playfully rock my hips against his. He groans and tightens his grip on my hips.

"Jasper," he grounds out between his teeth.

"Yeeees?" I grin at his strained expression. I haven't forgotten about what happened, but I really just want to lighten the mood right now. If it's up to me, we'll have forever to talk.

His eyes open and he grins broadly. Suddenly, I'm on my back and Edward is hovering above me, his laughing eyes bringing a smile to my face. Grabbing the sides of his neck, I tangle my fingers in his hair and bring his lips to mine. We're both still smiling so it's somewhat awkward, but I've never felt more content.

* * *

"So…" he says as he lifts his head from my chest. We sort of just cuddled together before and have been laying here talking softly, since.

"I was thinking. I mean, you're really different too." He bites his bottom lip and casts his gaze down. I would chuckle at how adorable he is, if it isn't because of how his statement confuses me. How am I different?

"It's all these small things I'm beginning to notice," Edward answers. "You're more confident, you laugh more and you're not as timid."

I mull over his description of me. I guess, now that I think about it, I _am_ less timid around him. But only because he has changed.

"No, love, you're not just different around me. I saw it when you were with Alice too," he says sincerely.

"It's because of you," I say quietly. Now I'm the one avoiding his gaze.

"What? Why?"

I sigh and gaze into his beautiful golden eyes. "If," I start but then realize I can't look at him while I admit this. He brings himself up and sits in the grass beside me and I turn on my side, leaning on my elbow.

"If I hadn't met you back then, I would have carried on with my life the way it was. I would have stayed the same, moved from place to place, never really living. Meeting you brought passion into my life. I finally learned to life, and although I realized I was miserable, I finally _felt_ something."

I sit up, cross my legs and finally meet his gaze. He's obviously hurt, but also astonished by my revelation.

"I never knew you felt that way about our time together." He looks away and whispers quietly, "I thought you were just miserable."

"I wasn't miserable from the beginning, Edward," I try to reassure him. I crawl onto his lap, my legs on either side of his hips and my hands tangled in his hair. "Those first couple of months with you, they held some of the best moments of my life."

I kiss his cheek and keep my head there as I whisper in his ear. "Until now."

He sighs and wraps his arms around me while resting his chin on my shoulder. "Okay."

We sit there for a while, holding each other. Sometimes, one of us will kiss the other on the neck or cheek, but we stay silent. The sky slowly turns darker, and soon the sun disappears into the horizon. We've changed positions so we can watch the sunset together.

"You changed me too," Edward says, breaking the silence. His eyes shine with intensity as he speaks. "Everything I am now is because of you. I might not even be here, with my family, if it weren't for you."

"Edward—"

"No, just listen," he says, turning his body toward me and taking my hands into his.

"I was so confused and brokenhearted as a newborn. I guess I never really told you this story either." He laughs softly. My hand finds its way to his cheek and I lean in to kiss him. He presses back against me for a moment before retreating.

"As much as I would _love_ more playtime with you, I just really need to get this out first." I smirk and nod, beckoning him to continue.

He tells me the short version of how he and his family got sick with the Spanish flu and how Carlisle changed him. It had been hard for him to cope with both the loss of his parents and also the new experience of being a vampire. He had a difficult time controlling his thirst and all that eventually led to his 'rebellious streak', as he called it, in 1927.

"When I met you a year later, I was in a bad place. I had gotten used to the lifestyle of a vampire following his natural instincts. I was cruel, selfish and truly damaged," he confesses.

I lace my fingers with his and bring his hand up to my mouth to kiss his knuckles. I don't say anything or ask questions. I just let him tell me his story.

"I never apologized because I didn't think it was necessary, or said how much I actually loved you because I believed it to be a lie." He stands and starts to pace. "I was such a fucking moron! Ignoring the obvious and trying to believe the lies I told myself," he spits. Frustration and anger are palpable on his face.

"Edward," I say quietly.

"I know, I'm sorry," he responds quickly. "You have no idea how sorry I am."

"And I do want you to know me—know the man you love, or _loved_," he says, rapidly continuing on. "But I fear… I fear I might have destroyed what we had. I messed up, and I thought I had spent the last twenty years paying the price, but now that you're here…" he trails off and shakes his head. "I apologize. I'm not making any sense." He laughs without humor. I stare at him as he pinches the bridge of his nose, something I haven't seen him do before.

I stand and walk to him, trying to understand his mind. Though, he seems just as confused as I am about everything.

"I have an idea," I say as I reach out to grab his hands. Golden eyes meet red as I try to figure out what exactly I want to say.

"I think, maybe we should stop talking about our pasts for a while. The only way I'll really get to know the new you is to just _be_ with you."

Smiling, he lets go of my hands to wrap his arms around my shoulders. He hugs me tight and I smile into his neck as I thread my fingers through his brown locks.

We hold each other like that for a few minutes before I let go. "Let's go be with our families," I say.

He tilts his head in question and—knowing what he's asking—I display an image of Alice in my mind. "She's my family now."

He smiles and nods in understanding. But before he can turn and start toward the house, I hold him back. I close my eyes, imagining Edward with a smile that lights up my heart, before I open them again. The love in his eyes keeps me grounded, but at the same time makes me feel like I'm floating.

"I don't want to sound cheesy," he says with a laugh. "But I will say that you make me really happy, and you're my family too."

I roll my eyes playfully, before kissing his cheek and smiling stupidly. "Way to go easy on the cheesiness," I tease.

"Shut up," he counters. "I'll race you. Winner gets to decide something the other one has to do. No exceptions."

I smirk. "No exceptions? What about rules?"

"There are no rul—hey!"

I started to run before he even finishes saying 'no rules'. His protest falls short as I whip through the forest, dodging branches and spider webs, trying to get a good head start.

"Jasper!" I grin as I hear his voice a good distance behind me. Maybe I'll actually win this one. Oh, the things I'll make him do.

* * *

"Alright, alright, you win!" Edward finally admits defeat as we stand in the living room with Alice and Esme. Laughing, I pull his body to mine and kiss him. I try to keep it somewhat chaste seeing as we have company, but Edward is really hard to resist.

"Aww, aren't they adorable?" I hear Alice coo while I nuzzle my chin in the crest of Edward's neck.

Esme laughs sweetly. "They sure are. It's simply amazing how you found each other by coincidence after all these years."

I look up just in time to see her wink at Alice. I love Esme already.

As I finish my thought, I feel Edward's chuckle as it rumbles through his chest.

"Well, I don't know about you, Jasper, but I need to go shopping. I feel like a new town calls for a new car," Alice says out of the blue.

I laugh at her craziness. "Of course you do. You go ahead—I'm staying right here."

Edward kisses me while the women sigh and all I can think is, _yes, I'm not leaving. Not again._ His emotions soar with happiness as he reads my mind. And that's all I want. For Edward—and I—to be happy. Together. That's all that matters.

* * *

**AN: Fin. For now. I'd love to write more and I'm probably going to. I guess I'll just keep piling on additional oneshots as I go along. Okay, I confess! I just want to write more Emmett. He really didn't get enough stage time in this chapter. **

**I hope you liked it! Leave a review if you have a suggestion to further continuation or if you just want to say stuff. **

**P.S. I'm hoping to post a really fluffy oneshot with Emmett and Jacob within January so look out for that! You know, if two extremely attractive, extremely rippled Gods spike your interest. **


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